Search found 15 matches

by Cher
October 5th, 2012, 3:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE. Tried a different approach

Hi All, would appreciate your thoughts and critique with this newest attempt. As always, I appreciate your help. Thanks, Cheryl Dear Agent, FBI agent Gina Russo wants to slam the person who's threatening her life into a wall spiked with nails. But there’s a problem: she doesn't know who the bastard ...
by Cher
September 25th, 2012, 12:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 2
Views: 10177

Query critique for THE FINAL CLUE

Dear Mr. Bransford, FBI agent Gina Russo wants to slam the person threatening her life into a wall spiked with nails, but she doesn't know who the bastard is or why he wants her dead. Top-notch, agent Joey Zicara is assigned as Gina’s partner when bizarre poems containing enigmatic clues arrive at h...
by Cher
September 13th, 2012, 12:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG: Under Sentinel Guard - Which Query Do You Like?
Replies: 8
Views: 2162

Re: MG: Under Sentinel Guard - Which Query Do You Like?

Hello Shipple, I like the premise of your story, but I think your trying to get too many details in the query. I played with it a little. It's only a suggestion to break it up some. I don't know your story, but this is what I came up with to show you another direction you might want to try. I hope y...
by Cher
September 10th, 2012, 10:34 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello Kelsey,
Thank you very much for your critique. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Cheryl
by Cher
September 5th, 2012, 9:17 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Tried on new approach with the query fo THE FINAL CLUE

Hello everyone and thank again for your help. I'm hoping this one puts me closer as I'm about to complete the final polish of my novel. I would appreciate any critique to push me in the right direction. Thanks again, Cheryl Dear Agent, Police officer Gina Russo and her fellow officers at the crime s...
by Cher
August 21st, 2012, 11:28 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE. Another attempt

I've read over and over all the great advice. Hope this one does it. Thanks in advance for all your help. Dear Agent, Seven years ago, Officer Gina Russo fired a shot in self-defense. It triggered an explosion that incinerated career criminal William Nicolas Mancuso. At least, that’s what she though...
by Cher
August 20th, 2012, 7:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello Garnell, Thank you and welcome to the site. I'm new myself, but finding the members here are so informative and helpful. I'm working on the query some more, but need to be careful not to be so wordy, lol, which I tend to be at times. From what I understand about query's, Agents like them tight...
by Cher
July 26th, 2012, 8:08 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Thank you Shipple and Chounzat,

I appreciate your input. I'm considering all critiques and thank you Chounzat for th compliment. I think I'm getting closer to having a query that works.

Thanks again,
Cheryl
by Cher
July 21st, 2012, 12:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello Chounzat,

Thank you very much. I feel like I'm fianlly getting there.
No, I haven't read that, but now that you mentioned the book by Nora Roberts, as soon as I can find the time, I'll check it out.

Thanks again,
Cheryl
by Cher
July 19th, 2012, 10:58 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello idenelly and LurkinVirogist, thank you both for your input and critique. I revised hoping this satisfies what was questioned and hope it’s helped improved the query. Dear Agent, Seven years ago, officer Gina Russo fired a shot in self-defense. It triggered the explosion believed to have incine...
by Cher
July 18th, 2012, 10:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4908

Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello, I revised my original query and hoping this one is much improved. I would appreciate your help Thank you, Cheryl Seven years ago, officer Gina Russo fired a shot in self-defense, causing an explosion, which killed career criminal William Nicholas Mancuso. That's what Gina was led to believe f...
by Cher
July 10th, 2012, 6:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 6
Views: 1613

Re: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello Liz,
I like what you did. Thank you for taking the time to play with it. It's so nice to know there's people who are genuine and want to help. I hope I'm good enough one day to return the favor.
Thanks again,
Cheryl
by Cher
July 7th, 2012, 12:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 6
Views: 1613

Re: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello Macaroni, Yes, blink QS. I wanted to test out a new angle. Last post from QS made me feel like I am finally getting closer. Thank you for the critique. I realized after I posted, I missed a word or two, that happened when I backed space t fix something and didn't realize I didn't but the word ...
by Cher
July 4th, 2012, 9:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 6
Views: 1613

Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hi, I'm new to this site. I'm seeking help with my query. I would appreciate if you could help decide which way to go or start all over. I have to queries. Not sure which one to continue working on. Thanks in advance for your help. Cheryl Query 1 Dear Agent, FBI agent Gina Russo cannot wait to get h...
by Cher
July 4th, 2012, 9:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Pawn
Replies: 7
Views: 1605

Re: Query: The Pawn

Hello Merry, I'm new to the site. Although your story sounds interesting, it's a little confusing to me. (just my opinion). About Query Shark. You were offered great advice. Definitly check that out. Janey Reid's critiques are very informative, but you need to be able to take the critiques in a posi...