Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I agree that from blogs I've read, agents and editors seem to prefer the traditional query format. If you wanted to go that direction, you could combine the facts and fiction into a great introduction to the piece. The part that really sells it is the "novel" section, though. I'd want to r...

You've got a fantastic title! That should get readers' attention. My querying is definitely not the best around, but might I suggest tightening up the wording slightly? For example, to increase the intensity you could say "Ben’s world fell apart," "watching the system mishandle the cl...

You all rock! Thanks so so much for your help. Brian_H: The military is definitely an exacting audience. I just wrote what I find fun to read, so I'm sure there are inaccuracies. I've worked around my lack of personal experience by researching, interviewing, and making some details the responsibili...

Elsinora has some very good advice! I don't think you need to mention that it's your first novel, though, since a lack of publishing credits will tell the reader that. Also it might be better to remove the list of her other worries, because that's all set-up for the call with the bad news. It sounds...

Thank you so much for your advice! I rewrote the middle the way Cal might say it (beware, there is one bad word): Callie Law's helmet stopped a sniper's bullet, but coming that close to death has consequences. Cal returned from Afghanistan with supernatural agility, seizures, and a voice in her head...

Dear [NAMEOFAGENT]: OPERATION RESOLVE is an 80,000-word urban fantasy novel set in one of the deadliest months of the war in Afghanistan: October 2009. Callie Law's helmet stopped a sniper's bullet, but she was left with a traumatic brain injury and some disturbing side effects. Cal's stronger and m...

This query has a great voice! I'm not sure if this was addressed in a previous version of the query or not, but what is law enforcement doing while all of this is going on? If that's a sub plot, it might be a good thing to include to add even more tension.

This is such a good idea! I think the query is OK, but if it were me I would start by only sending it to people who specifically say they publish or represent coloring books. Also I might put the page count at the beginning of the query.

You've selected some great comparisons to other series, in my opinion. They make the tone and themes fairly obvious. The word characters in "The characters unique abilities" needs an apostrophe, and after reading it I wonder if more than one character has unique abilities, and if so what t...