Search found 8 matches

by dorothyinman
July 2nd, 2012, 10:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel
Replies: 9
Views: 2006

Re: Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel

Thank you all for your feedback. Karen, I was really hoping you would look at this one. I am so glad you found my post. Elsinora and Rstearns, thank you for your feedback as well. I will post my new query and then respond to some of Elsinora's questions at the end. New Query: "St. Louis Legal Secret...
by dorothyinman
June 29th, 2012, 3:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel
Replies: 9
Views: 2006

Re: Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel

Thank you both for your input. I have been working on a re-write for the past few days. It's a lot harder than it seems! I do agree that I need the list of worries because it is kind of a before and after shot of her. I also wanted to add that as far as the biographical part goes, one agent that I a...
by dorothyinman
June 25th, 2012, 3:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel
Replies: 9
Views: 2006

Your Mother Has Cancer A Women's Fiction Novel

Hi Everyone, Here is my query letter for the book I completed recently. I have been working on it for over five years, but have never sent out a query letter. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. I read somewhere (sorry I can't recall where) to include a personal blurb about yourself, much li...
by dorothyinman
June 22nd, 2012, 4:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Query?
Replies: 5
Views: 1801

Re: YA Query?

I think your book sounds very promising. I love the idea of the world of the Descendants. Make sure you don't call it the Descendants though or people will get it confused with the book by Kaui Hart Hemmings. I do think that your query could use some work as well. Great luck to you in your endeavors...
by dorothyinman
June 21st, 2012, 4:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: Serendipity - New version on post 09
Replies: 9
Views: 2754

Re: QUERY: Serendipity

This story looks exactly like something I would pick at my local library to read. I love reading YA fantasy novels that have a bit of romance in them. Your plot is well thought out and seems very energetic and engaging. I have placed my comments in blue. "Dear Mr./ Ms. Agent I have been reading your...
by dorothyinman
June 21st, 2012, 4:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction
Replies: 15
Views: 3744

Re: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction

This is quick witted, well written and did I mention hilarious? I would agree that the second paragraph seems to be a bit redundant. There are some great details there though. Would it be possible to take some of the non redundant information and add it to the third paragraph. As someone who has dea...
by dorothyinman
June 21st, 2012, 4:06 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Untitled Query - YA Fantasy (REWRITTEN 9/8/12)
Replies: 9
Views: 3226

Re: Untitled Query - YA Fantasy

I would agree with the comments made. I would suggest if the book is not about romance, do not mention anything about "falling in love" because it will lead the agent to assume the book is going to expound on that.
by dorothyinman
June 21st, 2012, 3:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Falls: YA Fantasy
Replies: 12
Views: 3157

Re: Night Falls: YA Fantasy

This is really great and is definitely intriguing. I agree that you may need to add more details. The sentence "The world has fallen into perpetual night" could use additional details. Perhaps a short blurb as to why the world has fallen into perpetual night. Is it something to do with the Man With ...