Search found 11 matches

by DKrancher
August 16th, 2012, 11:39 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

A better query for Tardy Son

Thanks for the suggestions so far. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this a little bit. Here's another try: Query letter synopsis: 14-year-old Pid stows away in a boxcar in hopes he'll find his real mother in the San Francisco of 1958. Pid must overcome polio, life in an orphanage, and his own...
by DKrancher
August 15th, 2012, 11:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

I'm back with another rewrite of Tardy Son's query.

Hi folks, I've rewritten my query again after a bit of a break. It's below. Also, I recently became a semi-finalist for a literary award. In a query letter is it appropriate to put that information into the introductory paragraph of a query letter, or is it better to put at the end of the novel summ...
by DKrancher
July 9th, 2012, 3:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Here's another REWRITE of the query for Tardy Son

Dear Agent, I'm looking for representation with you because ______. He calls himself Pid, short for the name, Stupid. It's the name Sicario, his adoptive father uses for him. His real mother was Mexican, but Sicario, a white man, says Pid is now an Indian. It's 1950s California and Pid doesn't know ...
by DKrancher
July 1st, 2012, 12:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Re: Here's my query for Tardy Son

Thanks Karen, again. I'll get back to this soon.
—David
by DKrancher
June 27th, 2012, 4:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Query try for Tardy Son, numero cinco

Hello again, novelists. Here's another try at my query. I don't expect it to be perfect, but is this better? Thanks for your help. Dear Agent, I'm looking for representation with you because ______. Pid, an abused 14-year-old boy, runs away from home by stowing away in a boxcar bound for San Francis...
by DKrancher
June 26th, 2012, 11:23 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Re: Here's my query for Tardy Son

Hi Karen, Thanks for the new feedback. I have a general question: you have a lot of questions concerning the sense of events but I'm not sure they can be answered in a query letter—this book is a first-person account from a 14-year-old boy and it become clear the narrator is not entirely reliable, s...
by DKrancher
June 25th, 2012, 4:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Here's my REWRITE of the query for Tardy Son

After taking the advice here and some from Nathan's blog, I hope this is now a better query. Please let me know what you think. Thanks in advance. Dear Agent, I'm looking for representation with you because ______. After Pid, an abused 14-year-old boy, stows away in a boxcar bound for San Francisco,...
by DKrancher
June 21st, 2012, 3:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Re: Here's my query for Tardy Son

Don't mind at all. Thank you so much, Karen.
Looks like I have a fair bit of work to do on this thing . . . which is what I thought in the beginning.
I'll get back here with a re-write after I've chased it around the room with an axe a few times.
Cheers
by DKrancher
June 20th, 2012, 6:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Re: Here's my query for Tardy Son

Thanks lvcabbie,

Those are good questions. Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on it again and re-post it.
That was my first try. It's not easy learning to see through the eyes of a reader about my own book.
I'll be around. This seems like a fine forum.
by DKrancher
June 20th, 2012, 2:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5779

Here's my query for Tardy Son

Here's my query for Tardy Son. Dear Agent, TARDY SON deals with the prejudice, abuse, and racism of a California family in 1958. A boy with seven names learns a new identity by running away from home and by teaching himself to write. When a 14-year-old California boy's attempt to run away from home ...
by DKrancher
June 20th, 2012, 2:50 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 137613

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Mr. Bransford, Here's my query for consideration. Dear Agent, I'm looking for representation with you because ______. Pid, an abused 14-year-old boy, runs away from home by stowing away in a boxcar bound for San Francisco in 1958. He calls himself Pid instead of Stupid, the name his adoptive fa...