Search found 11 matches

by clegler
October 26th, 2012, 5:56 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: What T.V. shows are you watching?
Replies: 27
Views: 14836

Re: What T.V. shows are you watching?

I also was watching Revolution for awhile. I think I got through four episodes, but it was so dang boring that I just turned it off. I don't think anything significant actually happened in those first four episodes, and the shadowing question of, "Will they save Danny this week?" (and by "this week,...
by clegler
June 15th, 2012, 5:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising
Replies: 12
Views: 1750

Re: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising

I feel the same way...if there is a plethora of terms that I don't recognize/are new to me, I don't really read it. I tried to be as minimal as possible with the terms/names in my query letter, not only to avoid boring the editor but to keep it on a more personal, easy-to-understand level.
by clegler
June 15th, 2012, 1:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Falls: YA Fantasy
Replies: 12
Views: 2716

Re: Night Falls: YA Fantasy

When I think of writing a query, I think of using the entire page, because that one page is your only opportunity to persuade the agent to read your manuscript (whether this is right or not is another story...). That being said, if you don't add more, it sounds more like the synopsis you would find ...
by clegler
June 14th, 2012, 8:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Falls: YA Fantasy
Replies: 12
Views: 2716

Re: Night Falls: YA Fantasy

Hey there! I actually think what you have is pretty good. Yes, there is not a lot of verbiage, but what you do have hits what I think are the key points of the book. I'm no expert at query editing, but from what I can see it really just needs more description, but it seems like you have gotten to th...
by clegler
June 14th, 2012, 8:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising
Replies: 12
Views: 1750

Re: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising

Okay, here is my revision. How about it?? Dear (agent), For several years, a group of impoverished rebels who call themselves the Vanguard have had no reason to live. After losing their families, their wellbeing, and their sense of security during a genocide ten years ago infamously known as the Cle...
by clegler
June 12th, 2012, 5:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising
Replies: 12
Views: 1750

Re: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising

Yeah, that's kind of what I started to do (I started working on it right away after reading your edit, lol). And that Query Shark website REALLY helps! Thanks for telling me about it. Maybe now I will be more confident when it's time to actually submit. Haha. :)
by clegler
June 12th, 2012, 4:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising
Replies: 12
Views: 1750

Re: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising

Thank you, that helps a lot! I was actually thinking of my query today and thought...dang, I feel like its a lot more like a synopsis than an actual query. How can I fix this?! My problem is that I don't know how to make it understandable to an outside reader who has no knowledge of the story's prem...
by clegler
June 8th, 2012, 4:46 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Looking for Critique Partner for new Fantasy Novel
Replies: 2
Views: 2085

Re: Looking for Critique Partner for new Fantasy Novel

Hi there! Are you still looking for someone to read your manuscript? I'd be happy to help. A lot of the elements of your novel/plot seem very similar to those of my own novel that I am writing, so I might be able to offer insight on a more personal level. Let me know if you're interested! :)
by clegler
June 8th, 2012, 4:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction
Replies: 15
Views: 3215

Re: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction

I thought your query was very well written as well. The voice of the query is humorous and quirky as I imagine the book will be. It really matches with my expectations for the actual novel. Like the other user posted, it automatically reminded me of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (the movie)...
by clegler
June 8th, 2012, 3:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising
Replies: 12
Views: 1750

QUERY - The Vanguard: Uprising

Hi everyone! This is my first (real) query letter for my first (real) novel, and I would really appreciate some good feedback! I appreciate all constructive criticism, and I won't take anything to heart. :) Thanks for your help in advance! Dear (insert agent name), The existence of the human race is...
by clegler
June 8th, 2012, 3:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE FIRST 22: Historical Fantasy
Replies: 5
Views: 944

Re: THE FIRST 22: Historical Fantasy

This story sounds really interesting and original. Reading the query, though, I kind of got the feeling that there would be some humorous elements to the plot...I don't know if its because the voice in which the query was written is very laid back (which I like!) or if that was intentional...either ...