Search found 14 matches
- June 13th, 2012, 10:03 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
Re: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
Dear Scooby-Doo: The thieves named her Demon. In Satani's opinion, no name is needed to make her differences obvious. Her face, scarred from an accident she can't remember, in addition to sharply pointed ears and cat-like eyes draw plenty of attention—always unwanted and usually deadly. She earns a ...
- June 12th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
Re: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
Thanks for the advice I pretty much am going to get rid of everything after "The Sundering" and pick back up with Satani. The rest can be a surprise for the book
- June 11th, 2012, 8:44 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
Revised Version of Starkin Lost Query
Dear Scooby-Doo: The thieves named her demon. In Satani's opinion, no name is needed to make her differences obvious. Her face, scarred from an accident she can't remember, in addition to sharply pointed ears and cat-like eyes draw plenty of attention—always unwanted and usually deadly. She earns a ...
- June 8th, 2012, 10:18 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE FIRST 22: Historical Fantasy
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2650
Re: THE FIRST 22: Historical Fantasy
Sixteen-year-old Derek thought the biggest challenges in life were on a football field. Now, he's learning there are even greater challenges to face—after death, when he becomes a reaper. I agree that I want to know how he dies here and I think instead of saying "magical world," which mak...
- June 8th, 2012, 10:06 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: WITH A VENGEANCE: Paranormal Mystery Edited
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3635
Re: WITH A VENGEANCE: Paranormal Mystery Edited
I think this one is a lot stringer, but I would like to know how the wife can torture mob lords. I mean is she a cop or an assassin or just a housewife with a subscription to Killers Anonymous? II don't mean that in a snarky way; maybe she really has been interested in such things before her husband...
- June 8th, 2012, 9:59 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
Re: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
I keep hearing that one of the things to strive for in a query is specificity, and I'm pretty sure that's why the lines about "special guests", and "an introduction" were the point where I lost interest. I will try and reword it a bit, so it is less vague. The introduction is to...
- June 8th, 2012, 12:30 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: fantasy query: Arkarum
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2321
Re: fantasy query: Arkarum
Hi!
I think the only part I would really change is the first few lines. I'd like to see the main character up there in the first or second sentence. I think it would help set the hook quicker.
Sincerely,
Bobcgirl8
I think the only part I would really change is the first few lines. I'd like to see the main character up there in the first or second sentence. I think it would help set the hook quicker.
Sincerely,
Bobcgirl8
- June 8th, 2012, 12:17 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Urban fantasy with strong romantic elements,,,please HELP!
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2812
Re: Urban fantasy with strong romantic elements,,,please HELP!
Hi! I picked up a lot of good advice about queries from the QueryShark. One of her big suggestions is to find a rhythm for your Query. I am not sure if I've managed to capture a sufficiently compelling rhythm in my own query yet, so maybe I shouldn't be advising it. I just really like the premise of...
- June 7th, 2012, 10:43 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 213
- Views: 183528
Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Dear Mr. Bransford: Satani means demon, Thief Guild master Kamen reminds her often. In Satani's opinion, no name is needed to make her differences obvious. Her face, scarred from an accident she can't remember, in addition to sharply pointed ears and cat-like eyes draw plenty of attention—usually de...
- June 7th, 2012, 4:55 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
Re: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
Any suggestions welcome!!
- June 7th, 2012, 4:54 pm
- Forum: Town Hall
- Topic: The Introduction Thread
- Replies: 647
- Views: 403826
Re: The Introduction Thread
Hi! My name is Rebecca. I recently finished my first novel, and am starting the hunt for an agent. I write fantasy, generally for adults, and have an entire series planned out. The first book, STARKIN LOST, will be the first of a trilogy, followed by other trilogies that will all be interconnected. ...
- June 7th, 2012, 4:33 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction
- Replies: 15
- Views: 7290
Re: Query: Humorous Women's Fiction
Hello! I think your Query is very well written and quite fun. I do not normally read outside my genre, which is fantasy, but, from the sound of it, your book would be an exception. :) It's probably also great timing for a book like this because the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" mo...
- June 7th, 2012, 4:21 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Novak 105363
- Replies: 2
- Views: 2757
Re: Query: Novak 105363
Hello! I am not very experienced critiquing queries, but one of the first things I noticed was that the two large numbers (the word count and the title) are confusing when in the same sentence. Maybe save your word count for the end of the query. I think with the first line I am more interested in f...
- June 7th, 2012, 4:16 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4285
STARKIN LOST: Adult Fantasy
Dear Scooby-Doo: Satani means demon, Thief Guild master Kamen reminds her often. In Satani's opinion, no name is needed to make her differences obvious. Her face, scarred from an accident she can't remember, in addition to sharply pointed ears and cat-like eyes draw plenty of attention-usually deadl...