Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Been refining this over time, and have progressed to this point: Jerren Li’Sterrik is a dropout magus who resorts to petty crime when money gets tight. While doing a job for a local crime boss, he finds a mysterious cultural relic hidden in a lord’s treasury. After botching the job beyond repair, he...

And I apologize for not posting around on the forums more first before asking I've been going through that process on the AW boards lately, as well.

I'm likewise interested if anyone wants to send me something or look at my work. I just finished a novel and it's almost polished. You can see a synopsis for it at http://forums.nathanbransford.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4748 It's a Science /Fantasy with deconstructive elements. Basically, there w...

I tried Nathan's "One Sentence, One Paragraph, Two" exercise at http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2010/05/one-sentence-one-paragraph-and-two.html and this is what I got: One sentence Four young adults get framed for an assassination that never happened, flee the country with a princess, and ...

I personally liked your first synopsis more. The second seems to have a lot of voice in it, and some of the voicing seems forced. Decent composition, but like the above said, it's way too long for a query. A lot of agents will probably look at that wall of text and just hit delete. Maybe try Nathan'...