Search found 8 matches

by 4helen
March 1st, 2012, 6:25 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 116977

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

If you'd like to have your query critiqued for the occasional Query Critique events, please paste your query in a post in this thread. Time permitting I'll use a random number generator to pick the query up for critique. Please limit this thread only to queries entries for critique on the blog. Ple...
by 4helen
March 1st, 2012, 6:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: VANQUISH - YA/Alternate History
Replies: 4
Views: 1312

Re: QUERY: VANQUISH - YA/Alternate History

I AM EXCITED BY THIS POST. Seventeen-year-old Briley Bannatyne lives with her older brother Mackinley and her mother in a poor village in 1940 England. Not a strong start I would redo this sentence. Set up her problem first. You can tell us how old she is later. ex. Briley Bannatyne's family of mach...
by 4helen
March 1st, 2012, 10:19 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: *Revised* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR
Replies: 40
Views: 6750

Re: *Revised* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR

After faking her death to escape a group of supernatural mercenaries, Lillim Callina has been eking out her life ( eking out--are you saying she is struggling to make ends meet?) as a paranormal investigator. When a seemingly routine case causes her to inadvertently kidnap the infant son of a werewo...
by 4helen
March 1st, 2012, 10:10 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Paranormal Romance Rev. 1
Replies: 4
Views: 895

Re: YA Paranormal Romance Rev. 1

When bloodthirsty fallen angels attack seventeen-year-old Ava Monroe at school, her guardian angel Barak sends them tucking tail and licking their wounds. Biblical signs have plagued the earth: three days of darkness, ash falling from the sky, suicidal birds, and the overpopulation of locusts (a loc...
by 4helen
February 29th, 2012, 7:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Frankenstein's Monster: Undead Again -revised post 6
Replies: 10
Views: 2062

Re: Query: Frankenstein's Monster: Undead Again

The Monster is convinced that the murderous undead creatures spreading through the mountain towns of Austria in 1887 are the work of his creator, Victor Frankenstein, whom he thought long dead. As he searches for his hated maker, his journey brings him into an uncomfortable alliance with a priest, F...
by 4helen
February 29th, 2012, 6:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Lamb
Replies: 4
Views: 921

Re: Query: The Lamb

On November 11th, 2011, televangelist Charles Foster Wallace announced to the world his intention to create a god machine. The only thing left, (he said, use attribution quotes) he would tell his audience, was for him to discover the New Mary. Then one day he performs a miracle by making the enigmat...
by 4helen
February 29th, 2012, 6:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Urban fantasy with strong romantic elements,,,please HELP!
Replies: 4
Views: 1497

Re: Urban fantasy with strong romantic elements,,,please HELP!

Abby’s life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn when she finds herself in the middle of chaos she thinks exists in books and movies. Fantasy becomes reality. Red-eyed creatures exist. Some humans will live for eternity. Death doesn’t necessarily mean the end anymore, and witches hold a power much ...
by 4helen
February 29th, 2012, 6:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: YA or MG? BOOK I OF THE SIGHT
Replies: 24
Views: 4620

Re: QUERY: YA or MG? BOOK I OF THE SIGHT

've really enjoyed reading your work and comments this morning. I'm looking forward to jumping into the discussions, so look out for me! Will changing the main character's age to thirteen work? It is an age ripe for self-discovery and also, a time when teens are maturing, which can play into the cha...