Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hi gilesth, I think your query has all the right stuff but it is on the clunky side. I think it needs some streamlining and less info more style or voice. Instead of doing some inline ideas I have re-wrote it using your words but basically cutting and re-arranging. This is just to give you some idea...

Hi Terry, These are just my thoughts: - You don’t have to tell the ending but you should kind of hint at what the final turning point or conflict is. So and so has to make this choice, or will this happen or that? That kind of thing. - Long and short are really subjective perceptions. The query shou...

Nessa, I think that your query is good in the way of being concise and the info that it conveys. But I think it is still too flat and needs to be livelier in the writing. Just my 2 cents you can take it for what it’s worth. Good luck, Some more specific comments: Braden first discovered his gift of...

Hi askmonkey, First I want to say that your book sounds very interesting. I have some comments but they are just my opinion and nothing major. You have 4 paragraphs and I kind of think paragraph 1 should become paragraph 3. Just my opinion but I think getting right into the story is more interesting...

Hi Chopsy, This is my take on it. You don’t know. There are two things here: some kind of artistic judgment of your work and will you be published. As far as the artistic judgment – what’s good enough for some folks isn’t for others. Some people hate Shakespeare, Tolstoy, and other “great” writers. ...

Crystal, Yes there can be too much dialogue. But there can be too much narration, description, action, any type of writing. A reader gets tired of reading any type of writing that goes on for too long. As a writer you have to mix it up so you don’t exhaust your reader. Of course there are exceptions...

Crystal, As I am reading this I am wondering is this the first chapter? are we supposed to know what has happened to Angelina already? It is hard to comment not knowing what point in the book I am looking at and what else has been written. If it is the first chapter I wonder why you didn't start wit...

I've been thinking about this lately and I realized that I get caught up in trying to put down the plot and the salient points about the main character and other facts I think need to be communicated in the query. Of course in a query letter you don't have the space for a lot of explaination and so ...