Nathan Bransford - The Forums

This is from my romance novel: any feedback would be appreciated Laurel checked the pockets of her suit jacket, held the pen, felt the handkerchief, and screeched when a hairpin penetrated her finger. Darn it. She had forgotten her mobile phone again. Walking down the road to Peter’s house, she held...

Okay, I have made some changes. See if it make sense now. The car sped down the busy roads of Rose Valley, fast and smooth. The chauffeur looked in the interior mirror every now and them to catch his employer’s expressions or an indication to turn back. Ryan Carter rolled the windows down, avoiding ...

revised...Please leave comments Dear Agent, Ryan, a rich, cold-hearted businessman meets Laurel at a party after five years of separation. He is determined to win her back but Laurel can’t forgive him for failing to honour his promise to meet her years ago. To win Laurel's affections, Ryan uses his ...

i have just finished my romance novel and am in search for a critique partner. the story is about two lovers who meet after five years and have some complications etc.

pm me

thank you so much for helpful comments

Right off the bat, this query has a much better structure. I am pleased to submit for your consideration my young adult urban fantasy, THE DARK KINGDOM. In this 99,000-word tale of magic, mystery and romance, A noble priesthood that practices white magic must find Silver who can save the human race...

Hi again,, i have made some changes in the queryyyy.. please leave some feedbackk Dear Agent I am pleased to submit for your consideration my young adult urban fantasy, THE DARK KINGDOM. In this 99,000-word tale of magic, mystery and romance, A noble priesthood that practices white magic must find S...

Welcome to the forums, anamk. As it is, your query reads more like a synopsis - its voice is a distant, telling-not-showing kind of tone. Queries are supposed to be more present and engaging, full of your own personal voice to entice agents into reading more. A good query will show an agent that 1....

thank you so much for comments

Silver Fantasy wordcount--244 “City of Dangers. What a name! No wonder the vampires decided to make it their headquarters.” Alexis muttered. “The name changed to that after the vampires decided to make it their headquarters.” Old Namaro sighed. He was hopeful that his pupil will learn to appreciate ...