Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I think you should start with the scene Barbara creates and tell us what it is. Then tell us how she got there and what she hopes to change. Right now there is too much set up and contemplation before you get to the moment of action and conflict. Action first, then touch on the conflict, then tell u...

Thanks everyone. Your comments are very helpful.
ML

Here's my second bite at this apple. I've added a few more lines which I think make it less confusing. Thanks, Mountain Lion The coyote. When he’s hungry, he hunts. When he’s tired, he sleeps. Sometimes Miles wishes he could be a coyote. Then he wouldn’t see his father’s dreams turning to dust. COYO...

Thanks. Great suggestions. In the synopsis I do more showing. Perhaps I will combine the two. BTW, Andy does keep in promise. I need to put that in there.

I am having a forest for the trees problem. Any suggestions would be welcomed. Re: COYOTE WINDS, middle grade historical novel, approximately 45,000 words Dear _________: The coyote. When he's hungry, he hunts. When he’s tired, he sleeps. Sometimes Miles wishes he could be a coyote. A coyote wouldn’...

Sands Hall wrote a book, Tools of the Writers Craft, which has an interesting section about using multiple POV. She suggested that before shifting into a new POV, the writer take a sentence or two to describe what the new POV character is doing or to somehow let the reader see that character from th...

Hi, Just to confuse you, I liked the character names. It gives the query flavor and authenticity. I made a few editing suggestions and pose a few questions. I think naming the other books is helpful. Necklace of Tears (52,000 words) is a YA historical fiction set in 11th century India. This was the ...

Thanks everyone. Your comments are very helpful.
ML

I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS: At some point every boy has to face the question: has he outgrown monster stories? Must he put away his velociraptors, his transformers, his bug-eyed aliens with spidery legs for something even more scary? School dances, body hair, girls? I am looking for representat...