Search found 9 matches
- June 1st, 2010, 1:10 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Hang A Shining Star- contemporary women's fiction
- Replies: 17
- Views: 6847
Re: Hang A Shining Star- contemporary women's fiction
I think you should start with the scene Barbara creates and tell us what it is. Then tell us how she got there and what she hopes to change. Right now there is too much set up and contemplation before you get to the moment of action and conflict. Action first, then touch on the conflict, then tell u...
- May 31st, 2010, 10:11 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY for historical novel
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3721
Re: QUERY for historical novel
Thanks everyone. Your comments are very helpful.
ML
ML
- May 30th, 2010, 10:22 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY for historical novel
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3721
Re: QUERY for historical novel
Here's my second bite at this apple. I've added a few more lines which I think make it less confusing. Thanks, Mountain Lion The coyote. When he’s hungry, he hunts. When he’s tired, he sleeps. Sometimes Miles wishes he could be a coyote. Then he wouldn’t see his father’s dreams turning to dust. COYO...
- May 30th, 2010, 10:00 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY for historical novel
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3721
Re: QUERY for historical novel
Thanks. Great suggestions. In the synopsis I do more showing. Perhaps I will combine the two. BTW, Andy does keep in promise. I need to put that in there.
- May 30th, 2010, 7:59 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY for historical novel
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3721
QUERY for historical novel
I am having a forest for the trees problem. Any suggestions would be welcomed. Re: COYOTE WINDS, middle grade historical novel, approximately 45,000 words Dear _________: The coyote. When he's hungry, he hunts. When he’s tired, he sleeps. Sometimes Miles wishes he could be a coyote. A coyote wouldn’...
- January 5th, 2010, 11:25 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Third person point of view with multiple viewpoints
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4837
Re: Third person point of view with multiple viewpoints
Sands Hall wrote a book, Tools of the Writers Craft, which has an interesting section about using multiple POV. She suggested that before shifting into a new POV, the writer take a sentence or two to describe what the new POV character is doing or to somehow let the reader see that character from th...
- January 5th, 2010, 11:15 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
- Replies: 13
- Views: 6667
Re: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
Hi, Just to confuse you, I liked the character names. It gives the query flavor and authenticity. I made a few editing suggestions and pose a few questions. I think naming the other books is helpful. Necklace of Tears (52,000 words) is a YA historical fiction set in 11th century India. This was the ...
- January 5th, 2010, 6:58 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3139
Re: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
Thanks everyone. Your comments are very helpful.
ML
ML
- January 4th, 2010, 11:34 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3139
Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS: At some point every boy has to face the question: has he outgrown monster stories? Must he put away his velociraptors, his transformers, his bug-eyed aliens with spidery legs for something even more scary? School dances, body hair, girls? I am looking for representat...