Search found 4 matches

by Belle_91
November 16th, 2011, 4:25 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Opening of The Tory's Daughter
Replies: 4
Views: 1618

Re: Opening of The Tory's Daughter

Does this have more of a hook. Rebellion. That was the word on everyone’s lips tonight. Abigail Randals nibbled on her lips as she looked around Raleigh’s Tavern. Beneath the dim, yellow candlelight, she felt that the air was heavy with tension. Above the sound of the harpiscord and violin, she hear...
by Belle_91
November 16th, 2011, 1:24 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Opening of The Tory's Daughter
Replies: 4
Views: 1618

Re: Opening of The Tory's Daughter

Abigail is just Abigail. Not going for anything dark at all. I actually named her after John Adam's wife, Abigail Adams. She was a great and strong woman who I look up to.
by Belle_91
October 15th, 2011, 2:26 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Opening of The Tory's Daughter
Replies: 4
Views: 1618

Opening of The Tory's Daughter

Well, this is my second post on here, my first time starting a topic and posting an excerpt. I posted this on Absolute Writer Water Cooler, but I thought I might see what people over here thought. On AW they didn't seem so thrilled about this, but I just wanted to see what others thought. On AW, I a...
by Belle_91
October 15th, 2011, 12:36 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page of "Beyond the Paradise"
Replies: 15
Views: 4685

Re: First Page of "Beyond the Paradise"

Hey, this is my first critique here on this fourm. I really like your opening. My comments are in various colors...a certain color doesn't mean anything either, just wanted you to see them. :D Looking for any and all comments. One agent said "Good writing, but not great" So in short I'm looking to m...