Nathan Bransford - The Forums

OldhouseJunkie, I agree. It is too wordy and it has evolved a great deal since I first posted it here late last year. What I have found it that there are as many formulas for queries as there are agents and editors! Here is a shorter version that I have settled on. In the twilight days of slavery, E...

EllieAnn, Thanks for your input. There is indeed a very redemptive end to the book. Later query letters ended with something like "By seeking to send men to hell, Ephraim almost sends himself there as well." It is hard to boil down the last part of the novel that deals with regret and forg...

Thanks everyone for great comments and suggestions. I think when the holiday work doldrums are over, it will be time to start sending out letters.

Mark

OK here is my take. I'm new at this too, so take it for what it is worth! Dear ---, Facing seemingly inescapable legal problems and disappearing options two(delete) best friends, James Cohen and Derek Janson, must decide between fighting for their future and running for their freedom. After acciden...

Folks, thanks again for taking time to offer suggestions. I tried every one of them during the re-write. Some seemed to work, others didn't. It is till longer than I wanted at 403 words, but I think its a much better letter after being critiqued here. Dear___________________ Ephraim Wright has kept ...

Jay, I agree for the most part. Just as a synopsis should leave no cliff hangers, a Query should not reveal the climax. All of the comments here have been VERY helpful, I appreciate all of them and will use many of them. But, there seems to be a little conflict in that some suggested I add more deta...

The LOML and I are driving to Little Rock to see family, including son #2 and his new wife. He is a combat medic in the Army now stationed in San Antonio. It is great to have him in the US this year instead of Iraq for Christmas! New week son #1 will be visiting us with his wife and three daughters....

Thanks folks,

There are some very valuable suggestions here. I'll clean this up and repost here with a new version as soon as I can.

Have a great holiday!

Mark Hubbs

I'm new to Nathan's blog and to the forum. Both have taught me a great deal already and I appreciate all the time and effort he has put into it. I'll be the next to throw myself to the lions. I've been paring down a query letter for my middle grade historical novel for a couple of weeks. It started ...