Search found 5 matches

by epullins
January 25th, 2012, 5:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: population declined query
Replies: 2
Views: 996

population declined query

So this is the final draft of a much revised query. I was working with someone on another forum who has been critiquing my query. It has gone through drastic transformations and this is what I have come too. I am still lacking a hook because I was trying to get my synopsis where I wanted it. So I wo...
by epullins
September 13th, 2011, 1:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"
Replies: 6
Views: 1207

Re: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"

Emily, thanks for the feedback. Now before I start revising I have a few questions for you. I do agree with doing away with the ellipses (it was just starting point) but I was "ify" about them from the beginning so I will definitely throw those out. This was a bit long and I did get some advice from...
by epullins
September 10th, 2011, 11:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"
Replies: 6
Views: 1207

Re: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"

This is the revision of my original query (its just the synopsis which was my main problem) any thoughts please? I appreciate the feed back. In New Orleans an unpiloted helicopter crashes into a lower class neighborhood… An entire housing authority building in inner city Boston dies from carbon mono...
by epullins
September 4th, 2011, 9:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"
Replies: 6
Views: 1207

Re: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"

emily, thanks your critque was very helful and you pretty much said the same thing that two other crituqers said. So with that being said I do believe I have a starting point for revision and I believe I know what is wrong and what can be improved. I thank you for the CC and time. I will submit my r...
by epullins
September 4th, 2011, 6:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query"POPULATION DECLINED"
Replies: 6
Views: 1207

Query"POPULATION DECLINED"

I will do what i can to critique others but i am not sure how much help i will be because i just had my query tore apart and in my mind it was good lol. If someone can please give me their input on what they think and what improvements could be made it would be helpful. Thanks in advance, Dear (Agen...