Search found 8 matches
- August 20th, 2011, 12:06 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy *Revised*
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3346
Re: Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy
Thanks so much for the feedback! It's all been really helpful! Here is my revised attempt. I'd love to hear what you think, whether it is any better or still struggling with the same problems. Thanks! Dear Agent, Quinn considers himself a pretty laid back kind of guy. Even when his parents dragged h...
- August 20th, 2011, 12:02 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Untitled Contemporary Fiction
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2734
Re: Query: 'Barbarian' (WT): Contemporary Fiction
You seem to have some interesting "hot topic" themes here, but they are presented in a very clinical tone that held me at a distance; it didn't jump up and grab me. The way it started made me think I was reading about a political drama, but by the end, that doesn't seem to be what this is ...
- July 28th, 2011, 11:37 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: *Revised* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR
- Replies: 40
- Views: 15142
Re: *Revised* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR
I really like your query. I like the voice and the action. It makes me want to read your story. But there are maybe one or two areas that were slightly too jolt-y for me... Dear Ms. Agent: When gun toting maniacs barge into sixteen year old Lillim Callina’s home and reveal an exciting opportunity t...
- July 28th, 2011, 11:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy *Revised*
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3346
Re: Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy
Thanks guys! I think you're right. I'm off to work on it. I'll post it again when I've tweaked it a bit.
Jenn
Jenn
- July 26th, 2011, 5:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2
- Replies: 9
- Views: 4519
Re: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2
Dear (Agent), How do you get answers out of your best friend when she’s in a coma? Simple – open her diary. (I've read that many agents aren't thrilled with queries that open with questions. Although maybe this is a little different since you answer the question.) Jessica and her roommate, Grace, we...
- July 26th, 2011, 4:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Along The River Styx
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1876
Re: Query: Along The River Styx
Death's dominion is in some serious trouble, and only Delphi, her reaper bodyguard Kameron, and her mortal bestfriend Kaizzie stand in the way of total chaos; and total chaos stands in the way of an attempt at a normal highschool social life. (This feels out of place here, more like a closing than a...
- July 26th, 2011, 4:16 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy *Revised*
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3346
Query - Somewhere In Between - YA urban fantasy *Revised*
**REVISED QUERY ON 9TH POST. THANKS!!!*** I would be so grateful for any help you guys could give me! Who knew a one page query would be even harder to write than an entire novel! Dear (Agent), (Something personal about specific agent). Because of this I’m hoping you will be interested in my urban f...
- July 26th, 2011, 4:10 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: MURALET - YA fantasy (formerly Bloodlines) *revised*
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3985
Re: MURALET - YA fantasy (formerly Bloodlines) *revised*
I didn't go back and read the previous versions of your query, so my take is solely based on this draft. Hope it helps! Dear Agent, When Harper Page is recruited to join The Fellowship, the mysterious group that protects most of the world's so-called "mythical" creatures, (I think it might...