Search found 9 matches

by skinguk
January 5th, 2012, 11:51 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Fantasy: Where Hurricanes Sleep
Replies: 8
Views: 1897

Re: YA Fantasy: Where Hurricanes Sleep

Okay...new to critiquing, but here goes. Bear with me! Fifteen-year-old Jade Kadeem has it worse than your average Wind-Rider: She can’t control her city-razing hurricanes, and her father was brutally murdered by those who can’t control the elements, the Masha. Those gun carrying fools. [I would ac...
by skinguk
January 5th, 2012, 11:33 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy Novel: The Broken Key
Replies: 5
Views: 1513

Re: Fantasy Novel: The Broken Key

I am new at critiquing, so please bear with me! ;) Most people would kill for the power to shoot stone shattering rays of energy out of their hands, to melt metal just by touching it, to set fire to something without so much as a match. Eighteen year old Chase Gray, on the other hand, wanted absolu...
by skinguk
January 4th, 2012, 11:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Reception - Revised
Replies: 6
Views: 1832

Re: The Reception - Second Attempt

Okay...It has been a while (my day job went a bit crazy), but I have now revised a bit. Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you again! **** Dear ___, Autumn is supposed to be smart enough not to get herself stuck in the wall of a vacant house. She is smart enough, however, to realize that something i...
by skinguk
July 12th, 2011, 6:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Reception - Revised
Replies: 6
Views: 1832

Re: The Reception - First Attempt

Thanks. I know...that paragraph, and especially that sentence, have caused a headache. Probably a sign that they don't work! Your advice is really helpful.
by skinguk
July 12th, 2011, 10:21 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Reception - Revised
Replies: 6
Views: 1832

The Reception - Revised

Okay. This is my first attempt at a query (never done one for this or anything else before; I am new to the game). All advice is REALLY appreciated. Thank you! ******* Dear [AGENT], Autumn was supposed to be smart enough not to get herself stuck in the wall of a vacant house, but at twelve years old...
by skinguk
July 5th, 2011, 6:13 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page - Help Needed! YA
Replies: 7
Views: 2229

Re: First Page - Help Needed! YA

Maybegenius - thank you so much for this. Again, really helpful. I have been away, redrafting, and actually did just what you described. Prologue cut, tightened the first chapter, and got to the "exciting bit" a little faster. So I am really happy to log on and see your comments. This is all new to ...
by skinguk
June 7th, 2011, 3:29 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page - Help Needed! YA
Replies: 7
Views: 2229

Re: First Page - Help Needed! YA

Really helpful. Thank you very much!
by skinguk
June 6th, 2011, 10:58 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page - Help Needed! YA
Replies: 7
Views: 2229

Re: First Page - Help Needed! YA

Thank you so much. This is really helpful. I agree on prologues. Usually I don't like them either. Unfortunately I felt as if I needed one in this case. First, it refers to things that you don't find out about until much later and kind of sets them up. (I have unfortunately got a couple of books out...
by skinguk
June 3rd, 2011, 7:08 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page - Help Needed! YA
Replies: 7
Views: 2229

First Page - Help Needed! YA

Hi all. I am new to all of this. I have been reading the blog and forum for awhile while working on my first book. I have just finished it and gone through about two edits and am now beginning to feel the need for outside edits and commentary, so I appreciate anything you can provide. This is from m...