Search found 11 matches
- July 17th, 2011, 6:11 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4305
Re: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
Thanks everyone! I think I'm almost there, I can taste it. When I get a finalized version, I'll post it.
- June 19th, 2011, 10:40 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4305
Re: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
Ok, take two! ___________________ Dee Lykos is one of a small number of people who knows about the demon-infested parallel universe that nestles beneath the human world like a dark twin. Clients contract drivers like Dee to smuggle cargo through the demonverse by vanishing from the human world in on...
- June 17th, 2011, 10:32 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4305
Re: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy
Quill, thanks for the excellent feedback!
Concerning the genre, the book is primarily set in a modern city, which is why I have it classified as urban fantasy. Do you think I need to make that city setting explicit within the query itself?
Concerning the genre, the book is primarily set in a modern city, which is why I have it classified as urban fantasy. Do you think I need to make that city setting explicit within the query itself?
- June 16th, 2011, 8:07 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4305
query - DEMON ROAD - urban fantasy - 2nd draft at bottom
Hi everyone! I've shown my query to my beta readers and gotten a lukewarm or chilly response - "well, it doesn't make me NOT want to read the book". But no one has any bright ideas on how to fix it! I know that you wonderful people can help me out. I've been staring at it for so long that ...
- June 16th, 2011, 7:55 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query: WHOSE TEETH ARE AS SWORDS (YA sci-fi) - Take 2
- Replies: 14
- Views: 5853
Re: query: WHOSE TEETH ARE AS SWORDS (YA sci-fi) - Take 2
So many fantastic comments on this query! My input is that I don't think you need to explain the Stream further. I read a lot of sci-fi, and I'm pretty used to picking up what things are from context, or continuing to read until all is explained. I think sci-fi fans may be more used to this than peo...
- June 16th, 2011, 7:40 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - By the Sword (YA Fantasy) - 3rd Revision
- Replies: 22
- Views: 7461
Re: Query - By the Sword (Fantasy) - 1st Revision
Definite improvements in this new version! My thoughts in blue. Eighteen year old Talya is a knight who lives to kill soldiers of the Malinorian Empire. She especially hates their new young general, Jalarn. Not only has Jalarn murdered Talya`s king, he almost killed her. Twice. A prophet`s word sen...
- June 16th, 2011, 7:25 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISED QUERY (post 22) - MG - THE MODERN CAVEBOY'S GUIDE...
- Replies: 24
- Views: 9255
Re: QUERY Revised 6/15 - MG - ESCAPE FROM THE UNDERGROUND CITY
This is really cool! I just had a couple of thoughts, below in italics. Since you’ve expressed an interest in middle grade boy books, is this standard phrasing? Otherwise I might use 'middle grade books for boys' - though I don't know if I like the idea of marketing books for boys or girls specifica...
- June 16th, 2011, 4:58 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query-HEROIN HEROINE- Romantic Suspense(Revision # 2)
- Replies: 11
- Views: 3824
Re: Query-HEROIN HEROINE- Romantic Suspense(Revision # 2)
The premise seems interesting. One comment I have is that you're generally not supposed to load the query with backstory. Where does the story actually begin? With Wayne coming back from the dead, or with them falling in love? If the story actually begins with Fiona opening the door and seeing Wayne...
- May 29th, 2011, 4:22 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REDDO, YA Urban Fantasy LAST POST
- Replies: 20
- Views: 7880
Re: REDDO, YA Urban Fantasy EDITED 5/25
I'm just going to be honest - I don't like the word Reddo. I'm not trying to be mean, but I am wondering if there is a reason why you chose this term - does it mean something in traditional mythology that I'm not familiar with? Is it ODDER spelled backward? Clearly this is a really important word - ...
- May 29th, 2011, 4:07 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3782
Re: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
I love the idea of this query, but I agree with airball that it's a bit confusing. Some of this could be helped by breaking up the lengthy sentences, like so: Prince Lucien inadvertently caused his older brother's death. Now he eagerly awaits the opportunity for a Quest to prove that he's not just t...
- May 15th, 2011, 6:25 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: All That Glitters (YA)
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4688
Re: Query: All That Glitters (YA)
First of all, this looks like a neat book, and it feels unique and interesting. But I agree with others who say that you need some more of Belen's voice in the query. Belén can’t believe that Señor Rossi, the man who saved her life years ago, is a war criminal. What’s even stranger is that this news...