Nathan Bransford - The Forums

It's been a LONG TIME since I asked for help with this, and you lovely people responded. I just wanted to thank you all once again, so, so much. EXTRACTION recently sold in a 3-book deal to St. Martin's/Macmillan for publication in Spring 2014. You can find it on Goodreads.

Awesome, thank you guys so much! This is what I have: Sixteen-year-old Clementine will die the day she turns twenty. The Extraction Test is her only shot to prove she's worth keeping alive. The test instructors look for intelligence, obedience, and an elusive quality they call Promise. When up again...

Let's try one more time. :) Thank you SO much thewhipslip, I'm liking this much more. --- Sixteen-year-old Clementine will die the day she turns twenty. The Extraction Test is her only shot to prove she's worth keeping alive. The test instructors look for intelligence, obedience, and an elusive qual...

Thanks for your suggestions! There are some questions I don't think the query needs to answer, like the moon thing, and I'm choosing to focus on the first 30-odd pages, when she gets picked for Core life. But hopefully this is stronger: --- Sixteen-year-old Clementine will die the day she turns twen...

A couple thoughts: Here is a revised version. Thanks for your comments! ** Don’t be careful what you wish for--let the Tenders do that! (I'd use a period rather than an exclamation point. Other than that, intriguing hook.) In the year 2018, the North is ruled by wish-granting people called Tenders. ...

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it. :) Dear Mr./Mrs. [agent name], The Developers think sixteen-year-old Clementine is worthless. The Extraction Test is her last shot to prove them wrong. Only ten kids will impress the Developers. When Clementine is picked, she gets to ditch the...

Okay, thank you! I'm not gonna post anymore revisions on here, but you guys have been very helpful :)

Ah, thank you guys for your suggestions! I've actually revised it a couple times since I posted. Here is what I have at the moment :) Attn. Mr./Mrs. AGENT NAME: Claws bathed in rotting flesh; lips dripping honeysuckle. Heiren Delaire feared bears more than plagues, boils, and flames lashing at her s...

Hello everyone, I'm new here :) It would be lovely if people could offer some comments/suggestions on a query I am in the process of perfecting. Thank you so much, in advance! Attn. Mr./ Mrs.: ERHISTAUT is a 96,000-word fantasy novel for young adults. The peasant girl, Heiren Delaire, never intended...