Search found 31 matches
- July 8th, 2011, 12:54 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Slipping into your story during revisions
- Replies: 24
- Views: 11500
Re: Slipping into your story during revisions
Sanderling, I have this problem all the time and a really good remedy that nobody else has mentioned: read your ms out loud. Yes, read the whole thing. Yes, it takes a lot of time and you will be hoarse by the end of it. When I hear the words out loud, I catch all sorts of issues and annoyances that...
- July 5th, 2011, 10:17 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Banana Suburb [YA]
- Replies: 15
- Views: 5592
Re: Query: Banana Suburb [YA]
Most child prodigies burn out before they rise to any recognition, but Elizabeth “Liz” Choi refuses to let that happen. While her classmates hang out at Tucson Mall, Liz practices piano for three hours a day. While other kids go to parties, Liz and her band send demos to record companies. I agree w...
- July 5th, 2011, 10:05 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 7405
Re: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
Thanks so much for your advice Quill. I'm going to cross my fingers and hope that this be appealing to agents.
- June 30th, 2011, 5:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 7405
Re: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
Whoever said that writing a novel was the hard part never wrote a query letter. :shock: Anyhow, taking in all your thoughts and some of my own, here is a new version: LATEST VERSION Adam Wesley prefers the clarity of a well-defined life. He knows who he is: a widowed thirty-one-year-old attorney at ...
- June 30th, 2011, 5:13 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE ENEMY WITHIN (Historical Fiction): New Version - Page 3
- Replies: 41
- Views: 15667
Re: New Query: THE ENEMY WITHIN (Historical Fiction)
So, I haven't read any of the old ones so I'm taking a completely fresh look at this: As a pack of renegade Union soldiers disappear into the cold Kentucky night, nineteen year old Julienne Dalton watches her home burn, while her father lies dead at her feet. She will settle for nothing less than re...
- June 14th, 2011, 3:59 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5905
Re: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW
Very interesting premise. Comments below: Chris Drake hunts dragons with an assault rifle. That’s a pretty cool job for a sixteen-year-old. Too bad he’s breathing fire and growing scales. If the dragon slayers’ guild finds out that he’s turning into a dragon, they’ll kill him. Not to mention what hi...
- June 14th, 2011, 3:48 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query: WHOSE TEETH ARE AS SWORDS (YA sci-fi) - Take 2
- Replies: 14
- Views: 5855
Re: query: WHOSE TEETH ARE AS SWORDS (YA sci-fi) - Take 2
Krista, So happy to give comments cause I really love your blog. I've been doing a lot of research on agents and your interactive interviews have been SUPER helpful. Anyhow, here we go: For a girl from Vegas, sixteen-year-old Adair is as lucky as cold dice. She lives in Mandalay Bay, sure, but the B...
- June 14th, 2011, 3:20 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 7405
Re: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at post 16)
First of all, thank you again for your very useful comments Quill and michelliemason. I spent several days thinking about my query and I think I included way too much information in the previous versions without getting to the heart of the matter, which led to many of your comments and confusion. So...
- June 8th, 2011, 2:26 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query-YA paranormal thriller NEWEST ATTEMPT IN POST #16
- Replies: 18
- Views: 6662
Re: Query-YA paranormal thriller NEWEST ATTEMPT IN POST #9
I'm with Allie - I actually really liked the second version before you shortened it. I loved the details you included and its rhythm and flow.
- June 8th, 2011, 2:20 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - By the Sword (YA Fantasy) - 3rd Revision
- Replies: 22
- Views: 7479
Re: Query - By the Sword (Fantasy)
Kill. That is what warriors are supposed to do. They are not supposed to dream visions or fall for their worst enemy. I agree with the previous commenter. Generally, assassins kill. Warriors protect and defend their kingdom/king/queen, etc. I also feel like these first three sentences are a bit clu...
- June 8th, 2011, 2:10 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REDDO, YA Urban Fantasy LAST POST
- Replies: 20
- Views: 7893
Re: REDDO, YA Urban Fantasy LAST POST
AllieS, I really like this version in comparison to the others. What I love is the first three paragraphs and the simple relationship between them. The last two paragraphs however become almost too complicated. Anyway, thoughts are below: Eighteen-year-old Sophie Rowan always hoped she had a true lo...
- June 8th, 2011, 2:02 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 7405
Re: Query - Moonlight Falters (new version at post 9)
Hi guys, I know it's been a while but I wanted to let you know that I've started querying last week and so far haven't gotten any nibbles (7 sent, 3 form rejections, 1 personalized rejection) . . . meaning that I think I need to tighten up my query. So, here is a new version: For the first time sinc...
- April 20th, 2011, 1:59 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Separating confidence from self-doubt
- Replies: 5
- Views: 4866
Separating confidence from self-doubt
Self-doubt feeds the author. Without self-doubt, we don't strive to do our best --- to keep writing despite rejections and humiliations. (See Dean Koontz, for example, who writes: "I have more self-doubt than any writer I’ve ever known. That is one reason I revise every page to the point of abs...
- April 19th, 2011, 11:11 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: First Two Pages for REDDO, YA urban fantasy (REVISED 6/13)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 7590
Re: First Two Pages for REDDO, YA urban fantasy
AllieS - I'm so glad that I can help offer some criticism since you have been so helpful with my query! :) Comments below: Rain crashed through the treetops in Ellery Wildlife Preserve, pouring down the veins of leaves and sliding off so swiftly the movement was reduced to sparkling blurs in the den...
- April 18th, 2011, 12:24 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Looking for a critique partner for chick-lit novel
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1831
Re: Looking for a critique partner for chick-lit novel
Sara: I'm interested in trading chapters because I'm also looking for a critique partner. Mine isn't a chick-lit novel but rather a contemporary fantasy but I think our genres actually mesh because it sounds like your novel includes elements of magical realism, as does mine. There's a strong thread ...