Search found 7 matches

by clamjaphry
March 23rd, 2011, 8:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Urban Fantasy Query
Replies: 21
Views: 3613

Re: YA Urban Fantasy Query REVISED

Hi Allie! I really appreciated your comments on my query, here are some thoughts on yours: As an employee at Ellery Wildlife Preserve COOL! , eighteen-year-old Sophie Rowan is never surprised to catch people sneaking off the trails. When she finds Hugh Kedoa, the new boy at school, deep in the woods...
by clamjaphry
March 23rd, 2011, 6:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY
Replies: 10
Views: 2584

Re: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY—REVISED QUERY

OK, guys, I did some thinking about the crux/stakes, and I hope this one is better: Dear Agent, When Kiri’s beloved Aunt Sukey died, her parents blamed it on a long illness. But when seventeen-year old Kiri discovers that the “illness” was getting stabbed to death, she realizes that Sukey’s not the ...
by clamjaphry
March 22nd, 2011, 7:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY
Replies: 10
Views: 2584

Re: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY

Thanks guys! I've decided to nix Problem and replace it with lowercase secret. Stab-murdered is also nixed (even though it's def. in the character's voice) My question now is, does either query present an enticing enough slice of the plot? Is there any information I should either add or subtract? Th...
by clamjaphry
March 22nd, 2011, 5:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY
Replies: 10
Views: 2584

YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY

Hi everyone, I've tried out a zillion different ways of writing this query, and would like to present two slightly different options for your perusal. I've literally been editing this query in my sleep, so any fresh insights will be appreciated times a thousand :) **Note: I'm making a couple edits r...
by clamjaphry
March 22nd, 2011, 5:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Contemporary Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1751

Re: Hooks for query

Hi there, I'm a noob on these forums, but I'll do my best :) Dear M. Agent, Seventeen-year-old Meredith’s life is unraveling one thread at a time. First her dad passes away, then she locks her mom and sister out of her life. She goes to college for the first time feeling isolated and alone. overall,...
by clamjaphry
March 22nd, 2011, 5:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Touch of Madness
Replies: 19
Views: 2868

Re: A Touch of Madness

Hi Netti! I'm a noob on these boards, but here's what I think: When madness strikes, death follows. personally, I'm not a fan of this type of grand pronouncement at the start of a query...it doesn't plunge me into the story right away It’s a lesson Gliane learns the hard way when she’s injected agai...
by clamjaphry
March 22nd, 2011, 4:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Beautiful People
Replies: 20
Views: 3117

Re: Query - The Beautiful People

Hi Bronwyn, It's neat to see a book set in Chile! Here are my two cents: In Santiago, Chile’s most exclusive enclave like some other commenters, I was thrown off by the way you refer to the city of Santiago as an "exclusive enclave". is the whole city exclusive? could you pinpoint a specific neighbo...