"A low moan reverberated against flinty walls. His fibrous groan was thin, like the distant screech of a seagull blown by the wind. "
Try this instead: ""A low, thin moan reverberated against flinty walls, like the distant screech of a seagull blown by the wind."
Search found 9 matches
- April 11th, 2011, 5:53 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3552
- April 11th, 2011, 5:51 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3437
Re: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'
Not going to fix your grammar. Also was confused about when Anthony's gran had died. Like the premise of the story, though.
- April 11th, 2011, 5:47 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Excerpt from Gyllada's Riddle
- Replies: 2
- Views: 2417
Re: Excerpt from Gyllada's Riddle
I enjoyed it, but it was a bit too slow for me. Less description, more action. I'd like to see more from Mags' POV than a giant info dump. Otherwise, thumbs up, once Mags enters I start to enjoy the story.
- March 18th, 2011, 1:25 pm
- Forum: Books
- Topic: What are you reading now?
- Replies: 528
- Views: 307857
Re: What are you reading now?
The Countess (about Elizabeth Bathory) and rereading World w/o End.
- March 18th, 2011, 1:25 pm
- Forum: Books
- Topic: What genre do you read the most?
- Replies: 39
- Views: 13037
Re: What genre do you read the most?
Ready?
Fiction (historical, contemporary, women's, chick-lit if I want cheering up)
Literary
Historical mystery
Paranormal mystery (like Charlaine Harris)
Romance (historical, paranormal)
YA (historical & fantasy)
Fantasy (historical, urban, don't like sword & sorcery)
Steampunk
Fiction (historical, contemporary, women's, chick-lit if I want cheering up)
Literary
Historical mystery
Paranormal mystery (like Charlaine Harris)
Romance (historical, paranormal)
YA (historical & fantasy)
Fantasy (historical, urban, don't like sword & sorcery)
Steampunk
- March 18th, 2011, 1:16 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: What medium - techno or old school?
- Replies: 31
- Views: 14343
Re: What medium - techno or old school?
I write everything out first with pen and paper, then type it up and sometimes add more details. It's slow going and I have several notebooks I need to type up (arrrgh!), cause I'm lazy, but I have more success letting the other side of my brain take over when I write the "old school" way....
- March 18th, 2011, 1:14 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Writing out of order or not?
- Replies: 20
- Views: 6909
Writing out of order or not?
What's your process like? Do you write scenes out of order? Do you write the beginning and the end first, then fill in the middle? Or do you write straight on through, saving the delicious end for the very last? I write completely out of order. I wrote the end first, then the beginning, now I have s...
- March 18th, 2011, 1:06 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Your first Pargraph!
- Replies: 80
- Views: 42633
Re: Your first Pargraph!
A bit late to the party...can I play? I'll comment a bit later on other people's. Here's mine: "Listening to the conversation going on in the study for the past half hour had given me an increased sense of panic. I had come here for some privacy, but instead of reading novels, I should have mad...
- March 18th, 2011, 12:57 pm
- Forum: Town Hall
- Topic: The Introduction Thread
- Replies: 646
- Views: 403206
Re: The Introduction Thread
Just checking in to say "hello!" I'm a historical YA & mystery writer from Alaska. I'm unpublished but am currently working on my first novel. The distractions are many (namely, Ravelry and all its boards--lol--I think I spend more time on them than I actually spend knitting!), the pay...