Search found 19 matches

by enewmeyer
July 10th, 2011, 4:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2
Replies: 9
Views: 2018

Re: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2

It's getting better! Dear (Agent), Jessica thought she knew everything about her best friend and room mate. So when Grace suddenly begins distancing herself from Jessica, and soon after is involved in a horrible car accident and falls into a coma, Jessica is left confused and distraught. I still don...
by enewmeyer
July 10th, 2011, 10:59 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2
Replies: 9
Views: 2018

Re: Query: REDEEMING GRACE, take 2

Please remember, these are only my opinions and I mean no offense. Someone else may disagree. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Dear (Agent), Jessica and her room mate, Grace, were the best of friends. With their college days almost over and love in the air, life seemed full of potent...
by enewmeyer
July 10th, 2011, 10:33 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Virtual Genesis
Replies: 6
Views: 1090

Re: Virtual Genesis

I think this query is well written and easy to follow. The story sounds great and I love the character names. You might want to see if you can trim anything from the first paragraph so we get to the characters and stakes involved a bit sooner but overall, I would read this in a heartbeat! Good luck.
by enewmeyer
July 7th, 2011, 8:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited
Replies: 11
Views: 1587

Re: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited

Here is the final (I promise) version of this query letter. What do y'all think? **** Dear Agent of My Dreams, Jonah’s new girlfriend, the prime suspect in his undercover investigation, just buried her deadbeat husband. Or so she thought. FBI Agent Jonah White just threw away a promising career to f...
by enewmeyer
June 25th, 2011, 3:35 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Those ghastly -ly words
Replies: 27
Views: 8227

Re: Those ghastly -ly words

I just tried to search my ms. for all the ly words. 1300 or so of them. Ee gad! A frightening prospect to say the least until I realized that it highlighted one of my character's names - Lily - over and over again. I guess I'll have to do my own highlighting if I want an accurate count. :lol: It's a...
by enewmeyer
June 16th, 2011, 3:01 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: SYNOPSIS: Redemption For Liars - EDITED
Replies: 5
Views: 4462

Re: SYNOPSIS: Redemption For Liars - Romantic Suspense

Here is the revised version. Does this make any sense at all? Does it leave you with more questions or do you feel like you understood the storyline? Is there anything else you think I should cut out or add in? Thank you! **** Hill’s Creek, Texas: a small town filled with southern hospitality and pi...
by enewmeyer
March 31st, 2011, 6:02 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: SYNOPSIS: Redemption For Liars - EDITED
Replies: 5
Views: 4462

SYNOPSIS: Redemption For Liars - EDITED

Here is my best attempt at the synopisis. I have several agents I'd like to query but need to have my synopsis in the best possible condition before I can. Thanks in advance for any critiques and advice you can give me. Seeking vengeance is easy. Earning redemption is hell of a lot harder. FBI agent...
by enewmeyer
March 30th, 2011, 9:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: ASSASSIN PI - Romantic Suspense
Replies: 7
Views: 1194

Re: QUERY: ASSASSIN PI - Romantic Suspense

Here is the edited version. Hopefully it clears up some questions that were raised. Thanks for the critiques! *** For a disgraced former cop who likens himself to a modern day Dick Tracy, being paid to track down and eliminate bad guys has its perks. Nearly getting killed in the process isn’t one of...
by enewmeyer
March 28th, 2011, 2:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: ASSASSIN PI - Romantic Suspense
Replies: 7
Views: 1194

QUERY: ASSASSIN PI - Romantic Suspense

Note: This novel is not completed yet, hence no word count is included. I've decided to try writing the query letter before I fully develop the novel. Please let me know if the simplicity of the plot works for you all. Thanks! *** Being paid to track down and slay bad guys has its perks. Nearly gett...
by enewmeyer
March 22nd, 2011, 10:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY
Replies: 10
Views: 2321

Re: YA contemporary CALL ME CRAZY

I think what's missing for me is what is at stake for your main character. Why does she have to uncover her aunt's secret and what will happen to her if she doesn't? I don't think you need to reveal the secret but perhaps explain or clarify a few points. Based on this query, I'm more confused than e...
by enewmeyer
March 17th, 2011, 1:19 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited
Replies: 11
Views: 1587

Re: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited

I tried to fix all the issues you all pointed out. I have 5 or 6 characters mentioned because of the importance of Eli and the loan shark to the suspence part of the storyline. The kidnapping catapults everyone into the final showdown where Maya discovers Eli's existance just as he is dying and choo...
by enewmeyer
March 16th, 2011, 6:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Serious vs. Jokey...
Replies: 12
Views: 1536

Re: Query: Serious vs. Jokey...

Author, I didn't mean to offend you or Joel Q by rewriting your query. I simply don't know how to use the buttons to do what I want quite yet. I've been told that you need to stick to under 200 words (150-180 would be ideal) in your query. In totality query 2 has 357 words. Writing a succint query t...
by enewmeyer
March 16th, 2011, 4:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Contemporary Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1451

Re: Hooks for query

What genre is this written for? That will help in how you write the query. I'm not sure bringing up the abuse right away is the best thing for your story. It makes the story seem like a depressing situation that only gets worse. That might not be the case at all, but having lived that kind of relati...
by enewmeyer
March 16th, 2011, 2:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Serious vs. Jokey...
Replies: 12
Views: 1536

Re: Query: Serious vs. Jokey...

Version 2 is definitely better but needs to be shortened. The query needs to focus on the main character, what they want and what gets in their way. Here is how I would rewrite it. Take it with a grain of salt. Also, you need to include the genre. Good luck! *** Newbie journalist Elizabeth Mitchell ...
by enewmeyer
March 16th, 2011, 10:11 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited
Replies: 11
Views: 1587

Re: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS

Here is the edited version. I tried to boil it down to bare basics while still showing my voice and tone. Hope it makes the story clearer. Thanks for all the comments so far! QUERY When the Feds call it case closed in his sister’s death, FBI agent Jonah White is hell-bent on tracking down her stolen...