Search found 17 matches

by Madaboutstories
November 20th, 2010, 9:07 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query Critique Friday 11/19/10
Replies: 11
Views: 12847

Re: Query Critique Friday 11/19/10

Love the story line. I totally get the she's seduced by evil plot, but then has to destroy who she loves to get total power. Love the name Candida, reminds me of Voltaire. Candide- meaning optimism. There does seem to be numerous character names for a query, so maybe try to cut it down to the nitty ...
by Madaboutstories
January 10th, 2010, 10:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help- FORSAKEN
Replies: 40
Views: 6723

Re: Query Help- FORSAKEN

Hi Notw, I disagree with Dankrubis wholeheartedly. Query letters can be a tricky thing. Cutting down a whole book into it's essence, while creating intrigue, interest and showing writing prowess is certainly hard for all of us, hence the forum. While it could use some tightening, I find your writing...
by Madaboutstories
January 10th, 2010, 10:12 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: POLL: Where do you buy your books?
Replies: 21
Views: 4010

Re: POLL: Where do you buy your books?

All of the above and sometimes even at the bus depot...I have an addictive personality, can you tell?
by Madaboutstories
January 10th, 2010, 12:58 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW query
Replies: 12
Views: 2491

Re: THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW query

Ah God. I can't believe I'm doing this! It's intimidating, but helpful hopefully Dear [agent], Burned-out newspaper editor Michael Reed reluctantly takes a call from a disgraced former nun that changes his life forever. The desperate woman’s request that he meet her son sets Michael on a quest to d...
by Madaboutstories
January 9th, 2010, 1:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help- FORSAKEN
Replies: 40
Views: 6723

Re: Query Help- FORSAKEN

Hi all, Below is a copy of my query. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I also had a questions, what would you do in the section where you put information about yourself if you are 21, have no prior publications or degree that will help sell yourself? Dear Agent, I am seeking representat...
by Madaboutstories
January 7th, 2010, 10:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: TWO SIDES OF TRUTH - Critique away!
Replies: 8
Views: 1482

Re: TWO SIDES OF TRUTH - Critique away!

thanks guys so much for your great help! Here is the newer version. I ussed all what you guys suggested. I am honestly not great at queries so I am very thankful for this help. Dear Wonderful agent, Kirby was forced to move into the small town of Capingham with her grandma when her parents were mur...
by Madaboutstories
January 7th, 2010, 9:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help
Replies: 19
Views: 3510

Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others. ---- My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!! Dear Awesome Agent: When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her...
by Madaboutstories
January 4th, 2010, 8:58 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Replies: 7
Views: 1656

Re: THE NINTH STEP-query try

Thanks Yoshima! I didn't want to refer to 'survivor guilt' because some might confuse my story with the paranormal. (He wants to confront a ghost now?) I like your example of a point by point plot process to explain, it's actually not that bad. I'll incorporate it for my next revision. Thanks again....
by Madaboutstories
January 4th, 2010, 7:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: What to do with multiple query versions
Replies: 1
Views: 679

Re: What to do with multiple query versions

I like to see the whole process, and then make suggestions that incorporate all versions.
by Madaboutstories
January 4th, 2010, 7:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
Replies: 13
Views: 3061

Re: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears

This story sounds like an fun adventure! Hope all the best for you!
by Madaboutstories
January 4th, 2010, 7:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Replies: 7
Views: 1656

Re: THE NINTH STEP-query try

Thanks for pointing out the confusing parts. I've had trouble with how much info dumping to do in a query, so maybe you can help me sort it out. 1) Laura is not a new psychologist-she had previously worked in a hospital, but recently begun a private practice. 2) Laura was recommended by a colleague ...
by Madaboutstories
January 3rd, 2010, 10:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Replies: 7
Views: 1656

THE NINTH STEP-query try

Dear Awesome Agent, [Personalization] When infamous James Duke stepped into Dr. Laura Masters' fledgling office she was both excited and intimidated. Certainly, she needed the money and his celebrity added a challenge to his mental care, but if she failed miserably it could cost her her reputation a...
by Madaboutstories
January 3rd, 2010, 8:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - The Volatiles
Replies: 8
Views: 1628

Re: Query Critique - The Volatiles

I love the line "not knowing the secrets that hide behind the image." Succinct and telling-well done. You have a great voice. I'm only confused by the girl not being able to protect herself if she is more powerful. Is she just naive?
by Madaboutstories
January 3rd, 2010, 8:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: (Revised) Beating the Heart- Query Critique :)
Replies: 18
Views: 3249

Re: (Revised) Beating the Heart- Query Critique :)

Attempt #3 is certainly the best so far, now you just need to punch it up a bit! More tension is needed in her saving mom versus boyfriend again.
by Madaboutstories
January 3rd, 2010, 8:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
Replies: 9
Views: 2134

Re: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!

I love your voice. Try to cut down all the adjectives (less is more). And try to incorporate how the sister tries to destroy her brother. (She's mentioned and then drops from the query-I know it's hard when you have complicated characters who are intertwined like they are, to explain it all succinct...