Search found 99 matches

by Dankrubis
April 19th, 2011, 5:42 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: I'm moving out!
Replies: 26
Views: 3398

Re: I'm moving out!

Heh, I remember the first place I moved into and didn't have a roommate. I slowly walked the tiny apartment and pointed at stuff- That's my cabinet. I can put anything I want on that wall. The oven is solely in my domain. Who's sink is that? Oh yeah, MINE. Well, none of that was true, it was an apar...
by Dankrubis
April 5th, 2011, 2:16 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Word Count?
Replies: 24
Views: 5052

Re: Word Count?

I think it helps to pay attention to word count. If I'm aiming for 80,000 words, then I know act 2 needs to start around the 20,000 mark, act 3 around 60,000, etc. So if I'm only at 12,000 words and I'm almost to the part I've designated as the first plot point, then I know I'm probably writing too ...
by Dankrubis
February 20th, 2011, 3:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Born to Bondage query II
Replies: 23
Views: 3426

Re: Born to Bondage query II

I wanted to mention something regarding the diverse critiques you've been getting. I've been in a ton of writers' workshops and I have a pretty good method to weeding through critiques. If one person tells you a particular thing is wrong with your novel/query, feel free to ignore it (unless of cours...
by Dankrubis
February 17th, 2011, 6:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Born to Bondage query II
Replies: 23
Views: 3426

Re: Born to Bondage query II

Welcome to the forums GaoYuQing! I'll throw a critique your way. Things I take issue with are in red , my thoughts as I read are in blue . Paul Neilsson is a broken man . This is a tad cliche, plus it's telling us, not showing us. But this is a query, hard to get through it without telling. His job,...
by Dankrubis
February 16th, 2011, 1:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query feedback - THE HEAVY DARK - take 3
Replies: 21
Views: 3105

Re: One more time

Heh, guess I'll give this another shot, though you'd probably be better off getting a wider variety of opinions. I suggest critiquing other people's queries in this forum, I think that back-scratching mentality is what keeps the back-and-forth alive. (If you've already done a bunch of critiques, the...
by Dankrubis
February 16th, 2011, 1:31 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: A Practice Pattern Model
Replies: 2
Views: 589

Re: A Practice Pattern Model

A Practice Pattern Model patterns a scale of practices measuring inputs and outcomes. A bad practice is one with dangerous and inefficient practices resulting in irrecoverable losses and task failure. A poor practice is one with dangerous and/or inefficient practices resulting in acceptable task co...
by Dankrubis
February 16th, 2011, 1:16 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Great Gatsby Video Game
Replies: 6
Views: 1134

Re: Great Gatsby Video Game

This just caught Game Informer's attention. Thought I'd share the link-

http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/arch ... aying.aspx
by Dankrubis
February 14th, 2011, 1:56 am
Forum: Books
Topic: Habit: skipping parts or passages in a novel
Replies: 53
Views: 10672

Re: Habit: skipping parts or passages in a novel

Why is this hard to understand? There are writers who get carried away with the poetry of their own prose but otherwise are great writers. There are writers who rush to meet deadlines or to write 2-3 novels and a couple of novellas a year. There are writers who think that because they are establish...
by Dankrubis
February 13th, 2011, 2:47 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Habit: skipping parts or passages in a novel
Replies: 53
Views: 10672

Re: Habit: skipping parts or passages in a novel

When I first saw Steve's post here, I thought, 'Wow, this is a non-issue. Who in the hell skips portions of the book they're reading? Nobody does that.' But apparently I'm wrong. For the love of god, why? If passages are boring you, just put that sucker down and grab another book. You people fast-fo...
by Dankrubis
February 12th, 2011, 1:00 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: When there's nothing going on...
Replies: 13
Views: 1557

Re: When there's nothing going on...

Since it's the start of the novel, I suggest character development. Get your MC to point B by putting him/her in an interesting situation that shows off who this person is.

Have it move the plot along and you get bonus points :)
by Dankrubis
February 11th, 2011, 12:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: IRREFUTABLE
Replies: 19
Views: 2874

Re: Query: IRREFUTABLE

Detective Alex Mendez built his career on irrefutable facts. Now, a sociopathic forensic nurse turns Alex’s life up-side-down when she plants her cheating boyfriend’s semen into the evidence kits from three rape victims. I like this a lot better. It sets everything up, it's specific. Though I agree...
by Dankrubis
February 10th, 2011, 2:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: IRREFUTABLE
Replies: 19
Views: 2874

Re: Query: IRREFUTABLE

I think you're having a problem fully conveying your plot. We need a firm grasp on what the story is about, what the motivations are, and who's doing what to whom. I'm going to put my thoughts down as I read. Dear Agent, In his world, where everything is built on fact, Detective Alex Mendez discover...
by Dankrubis
February 10th, 2011, 12:20 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: THE GREAT GATSBY
Replies: 5
Views: 970

Re: THE GREAT GATSBY

I had a bad experience with THE GREAT GATSBY, but I blame myself. I think I read it late in high school or my freshmen year of college. I remember the teacher telling us it was one of the greatest books ever written, but it bored me. I'd say maybe it was built up too much, but I was probably too inv...
by Dankrubis
February 9th, 2011, 4:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query feedback - THE HEAVY DARK - take 3
Replies: 21
Views: 3105

Re: Query feedback - THE HEAVY DARK

Beneath airships and mountainous cathedrals, through the streets of a walled city, Skyla runs for her life. I agree with Ermo. The sentence placement is jarring. It might be better to begin with the second paragraph, then move into how witches aren't popular (and give us more reason as to why!) and...
by Dankrubis
February 5th, 2011, 9:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Non-fiction Query: English Lessons
Replies: 8
Views: 1251

Re: Non-fiction Query: English Lessons

Wow. Honestly, this doesn't need much work, if any at all. You've presented yourself quite professionally, and it sounds like a great read. If I were an agent, I'd ask for a partial. And I'm picky as shit. But you asked for a critique! All I can do is nitpick. But since this is already so tight, if ...