Search found 7 matches
- February 27th, 2011, 9:34 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3914
Re: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'
Hi - I liked your characters, but I was a little confused about a few things. The opening paragraph made me assume Anthony's granny had just died, not two years previously. His shining new shoes inferred he was returning to the grave just after her funeral - you know how most kids would need a new o...
- February 27th, 2011, 9:17 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3950
Re: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
Thank you PR Griffin for some great feedback. I knew my writing was a little stilted, and missing a sense of urgency which the scene requires. Your input gives me fantastic pointers on where to cut. Your suggestion to focus on her actions and concern will definitely add more needed poignancy. I laug...
- February 7th, 2011, 6:01 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3950
Re: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
mnaylor3 - Thanks so much for your input. I agree that I need to change the words 'ounce' and 'inch'. Writing in first person narrative is not something I have done much. It may be beyond my skill level at this time. I am very much a beginner when it comes to writing. I think I may rewrite my first ...
- February 6th, 2011, 10:18 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3950
Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
I am posting an excerpt from my first chapter, though not my first paragraph. My first pages need major revision. I made the mistake of starting my book with weather. I have to admit, it is hard to get away from the wind and the rain when your book is set in Ireland. Hopefully, this will someday be...
- February 6th, 2011, 9:34 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: An Island Never Cries - Women's Fiction - 1st 5 paragraphs
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3835
Re: An Island Never Cries - Women's Fiction - 1st 5 paragraphs
I think your first paragraph is not the strongest of all these five paragraphs. It might be a good idea to reconsider your opening. I like the suggestion of starting with the fourth flashback paragraph. It creates intrigue which the first paragraph does not do so well. However, I hear your hesitancy...
- February 5th, 2011, 6:53 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Seeking Beta Reader(s) for Long Walks on the Beach...
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2415
Re: Seeking Beta Reader(s) for Long Walks on the Beach...
I would gladly take a look at your novel, if you still need someone. I read a lot of historical fiction. Diane Haeger books are my latest choice. I have never done much critiquing before, but will gladly add my two cents worth. I am working on a novel based in Ireland at the time of the Great Famine...
- February 3rd, 2011, 4:53 pm
- Forum: Town Hall
- Topic: The Introduction Thread
- Replies: 646
- Views: 541305
Re: The Introduction Thread
Hi - I'm Mairead (rhymes with parade). I just joined the forums and am looking forward to learning from all the wonderful writers on this site. Historical fiction is my first choice of reading genre. I love to write in the evenings when my four kids finally make it to bed. It is what keeps me sane. ...