Search found 7 matches

by maireadg
February 27th, 2011, 9:34 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'
Replies: 5
Views: 1720

Re: Opening of Short Story 'Treasure'

Hi - I liked your characters, but I was a little confused about a few things. The opening paragraph made me assume Anthony's granny had just died, not two years previously. His shining new shoes inferred he was returning to the grave just after her funeral - you know how most kids would need a new o...
by maireadg
February 27th, 2011, 9:17 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
Replies: 5
Views: 1903

Re: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM

Thank you PR Griffin for some great feedback. I knew my writing was a little stilted, and missing a sense of urgency which the scene requires. Your input gives me fantastic pointers on where to cut. Your suggestion to focus on her actions and concern will definitely add more needed poignancy. I laug...
by maireadg
February 7th, 2011, 6:01 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
Replies: 5
Views: 1903

Re: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM

mnaylor3 - Thanks so much for your input. I agree that I need to change the words 'ounce' and 'inch'. Writing in first person narrative is not something I have done much. It may be beyond my skill level at this time. I am very much a beginner when it comes to writing. I think I may rewrite my first ...
by maireadg
February 6th, 2011, 10:18 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM
Replies: 5
Views: 1903

Historical Fiction - IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM

I am posting an excerpt from my first chapter, though not my first paragraph. My first pages need major revision. I made the mistake of starting my book with weather. I have to admit, it is hard to get away from the wind and the rain when your book is set in Ireland. Hopefully, this will someday be...
by maireadg
February 6th, 2011, 9:34 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: An Island Never Cries - Women's Fiction - 1st 5 paragraphs
Replies: 5
Views: 1684

Re: An Island Never Cries - Women's Fiction - 1st 5 paragraphs

I think your first paragraph is not the strongest of all these five paragraphs. It might be a good idea to reconsider your opening. I like the suggestion of starting with the fourth flashback paragraph. It creates intrigue which the first paragraph does not do so well. However, I hear your hesitancy...
by maireadg
February 5th, 2011, 6:53 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Seeking Beta Reader(s) for Long Walks on the Beach...
Replies: 3
Views: 1370

Re: Seeking Beta Reader(s) for Long Walks on the Beach...

I would gladly take a look at your novel, if you still need someone. I read a lot of historical fiction. Diane Haeger books are my latest choice. I have never done much critiquing before, but will gladly add my two cents worth. I am working on a novel based in Ireland at the time of the Great Famine...
by maireadg
February 3rd, 2011, 4:53 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 618
Views: 196126

Re: The Introduction Thread

Hi - I'm Mairead (rhymes with parade). I just joined the forums and am looking forward to learning from all the wonderful writers on this site. Historical fiction is my first choice of reading genre. I love to write in the evenings when my four kids finally make it to bed. It is what keeps me sane. ...