Nathan Bransford - The Forums

A revision! I'm happier with it. Let me know what you guys think :) Ayla had three things on her mind—finish her stupid chores, find a way to see Loran, and share a delicious birthday dinner with her dad—in that order. But first, the stupid, stupid chores. She knew the island as well as she knew the...

Thanks a lot mnaylor3, Nicole R, and Anobile1 :) I'm beginning to see how I can increase the tension and take some focus away from Ayla and her dad (although I don't want to!) so the conflict is more apparent. I'm a little confused about what qualities are dream-like or vague! Could you elaborate a ...

Hi! I've received some interesting feedback on my first 500 words and I wanted to know what other people thought as well :) I'm mainly concerned with whether or not there's tension or conflict and if you'd want to keep reading based on this small excerpt. Any opinion/suggestion is appreciated. Many ...