Search found 3 matches

by Jessica Lei
February 12th, 2011, 11:11 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Fantasy - First 500 Words
Replies: 8
Views: 2635

Re: YA Fantasy - First 500 Words

A revision! I'm happier with it. Let me know what you guys think :) Ayla had three things on her mind—finish her stupid chores, find a way to see Loran, and share a delicious birthday dinner with her dad—in that order. But first, the stupid, stupid chores. She knew the island as well as she knew the...
by Jessica Lei
January 23rd, 2011, 6:51 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Fantasy - First 500 Words
Replies: 8
Views: 2635

Re: YA Fantasy - First 500 Words

Thanks a lot mnaylor3, Nicole R, and Anobile1 :) I'm beginning to see how I can increase the tension and take some focus away from Ayla and her dad (although I don't want to!) so the conflict is more apparent. I'm a little confused about what qualities are dream-like or vague! Could you elaborate a ...
by Jessica Lei
January 18th, 2011, 5:32 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Fantasy - First 500 Words
Replies: 8
Views: 2635

YA Fantasy - First 500 Words

Hi! I've received some interesting feedback on my first 500 words and I wanted to know what other people thought as well :) I'm mainly concerned with whether or not there's tension or conflict and if you'd want to keep reading based on this small excerpt. Any opinion/suggestion is appreciated. Many ...