Nathan Bransford - The Forums

This is the first time I've posted a query anywhere. Please give any tips you can think of. I appreciate it! Dear (Agent), Markyi Lharnid lives in a world where not being Christian is punishable by death and being raped is considered adulterous. I think the addition of rape penalties weakens what w...

After querying for a few weeks and getting some interest, as well as some rejections - - mainly because I didn't start the story where the story really starts (I've since cut out the first 73 pages - the whole war section) - - I wanted to run my latest query by you all. I've incorporated some of yo...

Conventional wisdom says you can usually allow about 250 words for the body of your query (that is, excluding opening and closing paragraphs). Agents aren't as uniform in their opinions. I do think you need more. A lot of people had specific questions. That doesn't mean you need to answer them all, ...

I think you've gotten very useful advice. I'd like to add a caveat about how you handle the reference to the novel being like a memoir. The link below was referenced in Nathan's Friday blog. http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2010/09/no-no-no.html It's an important cautionary note that may prompt y...

I think this is great. A few points. I don't understand what "conducting the future" means. Can you add some specifics? I'm sure you meant "to master" in the last paragraph. I know how easy it is to go over a query again and again and miss things like this. The story sounds even ...

Thanks again for all the help. Here's my latest revision. 85-year-old Dara McBride is appalled by the current trend to confess one's indiscretions as publicly as possible. For decades she has kept quiet about her sins of passion, preferring to be seen as a hard woman rather than sacrifice her pride....

This is my post of a query letter. Please let me know what you think. Thanks! Dear [Mr/Ms. Agent Name], Born blind, the street musician Tessa always considered her ability to see auras —and nothing else— as more of a curse than a blessing. I understand what you're saying, but see if you can use a m...

Thanks to all of you for your critiques and encouragement. I'm fooling around with my extra wordage and trying not to stray off into detours. I live in hope that this is going somewhere good.

Quill made some excellent suggestions. I think you're struggling with the idea of what a query should be. At agentquery.com/writer_hq.aspx you can read a succinct explanation of how to write a query, with some examples of imaginary queries from books you may have read. Nathan also has a lot of thoug...

I pretty much agree with what others have written, in case you're keeping score. I love the first paragraph, because what I hear in it is your author's voice, one that is very appealing to me. The voice gets lost in the second paragraph, and I got confused by who you were talking about, specifically...

Congratulations. The cover promises a lot of fun inside.

I've changed and shortened this. It's 135 words. Thanks in advance for your comments. 85-year-old Dara McBride scorns those who turn talk shows into confessionals by flaunting deeds better left unmentioned. For decades she has kept quiet about her sins of passion, preferring to be seen as a hard wom...

At a glance, it looked really interesting, and so does the blog. So I bookmarked it. Thanks.

Diamonte, I am in the process of rewriting a query for a book that is multi-pov, and the major advice I got from several people was to focus the query on one character. It was good advice, even though it means the sacrifice of lots of wonderful words. It seems clear that your focal character is Ele...

From my own recent adventures in queries, I learned that agreement among those who critique count when you're deciding how to revise. Your voice caught me immediately, and that's most of the battle. If you can tighten it up a bit and put in some particulars, I think you'll have it made.