Search found 180 matches

by Falls Apart
April 7th, 2012, 6:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Commercial Novel
Replies: 6
Views: 3360

Re: Query: Commercial Novel

*Oh, definitely don't explain it in the query. I just wasn't familiar with the term myself. **Yeah, I think bitter works better... I was picturing this guy with, like, a torture kit in his dorm room and was like O.o ***I knew what you were trying to say, it's just that "effervescence" means "fizz", ...
by Falls Apart
April 7th, 2012, 11:38 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Commercial Novel
Replies: 6
Views: 3360

Re: Query: Commercial Novel

Sounds like a great book! It's a bit hard to follow, though. Some suggestions: Before his eighteenth birthday, Aayush's family already considers him an academic failure. In hopes of transferring to a top U.S. school, he joins a twinning* engineering course in Manipal. Wrapped up in his own shame, he...
by Falls Apart
April 7th, 2012, 11:21 am
Forum: Books
Topic: What do you recommend?
Replies: 12
Views: 2949

Re: What do you recommend?

The Legend of Rah and the Muggles.

Yeah. That's right. That'll teach him to point a gun at my head :P
by Falls Apart
April 7th, 2012, 11:18 am
Forum: Books
Topic: [Deleted by author]
Replies: 26
Views: 7507

Re: [Deleted by author]

Rachel, you don't need to feel so bad :) It got pretty tense (I'm relieved I didn't see the thread until today) but now that everyone understands where you're coming from, I'm sure no one's going to be angry. Lots of people who aren't familiar with BDSM confuse it with abuse, and the line between th...
by Falls Apart
April 2nd, 2012, 7:58 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: What's the proper thing to do here?
Replies: 5
Views: 1802

Re: What's the proper thing to do here?

Thanks for the advice, and I think I will go for it :) *gets to work on query*
by Falls Apart
April 2nd, 2012, 7:34 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: What's the proper thing to do here?
Replies: 2
Views: 1819

Re: What's the proper thing to do here?

Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely send in a query as soon as I'm ready, and just hope for the best :)
by Falls Apart
March 30th, 2012, 10:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised - Dystopia novel - ENMITY
Replies: 6
Views: 1357

Re: Revised - Dystopia novel - ENMITY

Thank you so much for your advice! It's been incredibly helpful. I've taken your suggestions to make a rerevised query: Taq Locke dreams of revolution, but a tracking device keeps her an unwilling government assassin. Her job is to crush any movement that would help the serf class she was born into,...
by Falls Apart
March 29th, 2012, 10:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The purest form of advertising
Replies: 3
Views: 806

Re: The purest form of advertising

Well, this is a very, very good start, and it sounds like a gripping book, but there's always room for improvement. I'll try not to be too hard on you, since you're new to this site, but I'm sure you also want some constructive criticism. For starters, make sure you use proper spacing between words,...
by Falls Apart
March 28th, 2012, 8:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised - Dystopia novel - ENMITY
Replies: 6
Views: 1357

Re: Query: Dystopia novel - "Enmity"

Thanks so much for the advice! You're right; I really should put in more details. I've revised it and will post an updated version :)
by Falls Apart
March 27th, 2012, 10:06 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised - Dystopia novel - ENMITY
Replies: 6
Views: 1357

Revised - Dystopia novel - ENMITY

Revised version of my query. I'm almost finished with editing, so this may actually be put to use sooner than I thought! :) Taq Locke dreams of revolution. But, as an unwilling government assassin kept from escape by tracking devices, she crushes any movement that would help the serf class she was b...
by Falls Apart
March 27th, 2012, 4:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised: ACEA AND THE ANIMAL KINGDOM
Replies: 10
Views: 2064

Re: Revised - Query: ACEA AND THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

This is really good; it could just use a bit of tightening up :) My suggestions: Acea Bishop loved listening to stories of his disappeared father's adventures, but he never thought they were true. Then, at twelve, he wakes up in a throne room of crumbling bricks and mysterious doors and realizes tha...
by Falls Apart
March 27th, 2012, 4:05 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: What's the proper thing to do here?
Replies: 2
Views: 1819

What's the proper thing to do here?

Yesterday, I was at a book signing for one of my favorite authors, who's written several bestsellers. One of the people I was with mentioned I'm working on a book, and the author gave me some very helpful advice and told me the name and agency of an agent he's worked with, whom he said I should cont...
by Falls Apart
March 27th, 2012, 3:59 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: What's the proper thing to do here?
Replies: 5
Views: 1802

Re: What's the proper thing to do here?

Thanks for the advice :) That'd probably work--I mean, the worst the agent can do is say no, it's not like he's going to shoot out my kneecaps--but I'm still hoping that, but the time I'm ready, he'll be open to submissions again. *crosses fingers*
by Falls Apart
March 26th, 2012, 10:18 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: What's the proper thing to do here?
Replies: 5
Views: 1802

What's the proper thing to do here?

Earlier today, I was at a book signing for one of my favorite authors, who's written several bestsellers. One of the people I was with mentioned I'm working on a book, and the author gave me some very helpful advice and told me the name and agency of an agent he's worked with, whom he said I should ...
by Falls Apart
March 24th, 2012, 9:56 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Funny Typos
Replies: 11
Views: 5739

Re: Funny Typos

At first glance, he’s a normal kid, but there’s an utter lack of empathy in his expressions that’s disarming once you notice it.
...oops.