Search found 4 matches

by JenAlbin
January 11th, 2011, 3:03 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: (Un)Realistic young character dialogue
Replies: 45
Views: 11407

Re: (Un)Realistic young character dialogue

I skimmed through the replies and I didn't see anyone mentioning this, so I thought I would bring it up. I think the key in making this character sound precocious and not stilted or unrealistic is by balancing the character with a more realistic, developmentally average character. For instance, A Wr...
by JenAlbin
January 11th, 2011, 2:39 am
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 613
Views: 191967

Re: The Introduction Thread

Hi everyone, I like coffee. A lot. Writing gives me time to go get a cup without my kids. I like books as much as I like coffee, but is easier to read with children hanging on you than drink coffee due to the threat of third degree burns, That's why coffee gets top billing in my intro: its unattaina...
by JenAlbin
January 11th, 2011, 2:27 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Forty Winks first page -YA paranormal adventure
Replies: 9
Views: 2621

Re: Forty Winks first page -YA paranormal adventure

I'm going to chime in and reiterate there's too much backstory, The creepy sister is attention grabbing, open with that, cut all the exposition and layer those details into your first 50 pages. I would start with a sentence or two showing he's disoriented, have him move to explore, intro the sister ...
by JenAlbin
January 11th, 2011, 1:45 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 282884

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

TITLE: Crewel GENRE: YA Dystopian WORD COUNT: 248 They came for me in the night. Once, my mother told me, families had fought them, neighbors coming to their aid. People died, which sort of missed the point. Now that peace was established and the Loom proven, people did not fight them. They still co...