Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I agree that your hook needs to "show" a little bit more. What does it look like when her powers control her? Great idea for a query but the conflict could be fleshed out a bit more. Good luck!

Thanks all for your help! I'm busy revamping the query. YOU ROCK!

Thanks for the help! Meredith: I will try and put some personalization about Heidi. Good call! I researched this and it is paranormal. Anything having to do with sucking souls/demons/etc. and not on a different plane or world. If I put fantasy or horror that will have a WHOLE different meaning to ag...

How is this? Twelve-year-old Heidi Meyers wants nothing more than to have fun fooling around in class. Did someone say substitute teacher equals no work? Heck, yeah! However, Mrs. Podge has other plans for Heidi and her classmates. One by one, she’s stealing the souls from unsuspecting seventh grade...

Hiya! I'm look for help with my query. Soul Survivors is a working title since there are other works by th same name. I need to know if it's clear enough and if I use the word soul too much! Any other crits would be greatly appreciated! NEW QUERY IN POST #3!! Twelve-year-old Heidi Meyers wants nothi...

I've been absent for a while, polishing up this project and working on a couple of others. Dear Agent: The only traces of magic left in Rell's world are the violent, semi-sentient mage storms made up of the ashes of the magic-wielders killed in the great war. Or so Rell believes until a mage storm ...

I can draw...kind of. I'm definitely not up to par with the people here though! My artistic talent is less tactile. I sing opera and performed on stage and on tour with a college choir. Other than that, I got nada!

Hi all! I'm just getting started on this forum. I've already critiqued quite a few things and am enjoying reading everyone's hard work! I'll be posting my query for all of you to rip into once I'm done with my MG novel. Until then don't be surprised to find me haunting your posts. Happy New Year!

I think flashbacks are great when they are done seamlessly. You don't want to jar your reader. One of the best series of flashbacks I've ever read is Stephen King's IT . Almost half the novel consists of flashbacks, but you wouldn't notice because he never pulls you out of the main conflict. I don't...

Thanks, sbs_mjc1. I appreciate your feedback. Some of the phrasing could be better, but does this draft seem to be going in the right direction? *Updated version* When college students Travis Maguire, Lexie Collins, and her brother Burke find the wreck of a black triangular aircraft in an isolated ...

I just have one question: what will happen if Amanda stays? What is she fighting against? You give a great background of her but what will be the ultimate trial? Is it just the love triangle or something darker? Also, you might want to insert Amanda's last name into the query. :) I think this could ...

Thanks Emily and A La Vanille. I've taken your suggestions and rewritten this for clarity. Hope it is better. Explaining things like the Wild Magic would kill the mystery, so i left them. Thank you again. Revision 3... Dear agent, Cash Flaherty is fed up with his small Texas town and the office-bou...

I have scrapped the original WIP and started fresh with a new perspective. Here is the new plot outline, Sans Finis. Let me know what you think. Plot outline After the death of his wife, Alex Mendez has raised his daughter, who is now 16, alone. His job, as a violent crimes detective, has kept him ...

This is great! Thank you so much!

I would market this as upper MG if you feel it contains scenes that would appeal to older kids but not enough to be true YA. It is a market that is steadily growing right now. Upper MG can encompass 9-14 if the plot is violent enough. But never base anything on age because What Jaime Saw was meant f...