Search found 12 matches

by daisiem
January 4th, 2011, 11:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: OVERBOARD - Revision #1 Posted
Replies: 12
Views: 2236

Re: OVERBOARD - Revision #1 Posted

I really liked the liveliness of your voice in the first query. The second query seemed less fresh and alive. In the first query you used words that the character would have used, I think that is the difference. Also, just as a thought, on the word count. Is it possible to break the book down into t...
by daisiem
January 4th, 2011, 11:30 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

Re: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below

Sorry everyone, my house flooded over Christmas. We are stuck in a hotel for a month, so I didn't have time to do much earlier. Now it looks like I have all the time in the world. Here is a rewrite of the query. Please let me know what you think.: Most people dread the thought of being completely al...
by daisiem
December 19th, 2010, 9:11 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

Re: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#1 below

Thanks, I appreciate the help. I will try and condense more. I like a lot of the ideas you wrote. Some of them won't work because the plot isn't quite the same. There are other major characters involved that I haven't added to the summary, just because it would add more confusion. It really is a com...
by daisiem
December 18th, 2010, 9:16 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Nathan's Blog Post on Agents and Social Media
Replies: 16
Views: 3766

Re: Nathan's Blog Post on Agents and Social Media

I'm very grateful for the blogs. They have been helpful in understanding the whole publishing process. The first agent's blog that I found was Query Shark. I shudder to think how hideous my first query would have been without her advise. Also, I go looking to see if an agent has a blog before I quer...
by daisiem
December 18th, 2010, 1:47 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Why we love bad writing
Replies: 20
Views: 5699

Re: Why we love bad writing

I think sometimes it has to do with the mood you are in. Some days I want to read something that makes me seriously think. I want something dark, melancholic, with characters that are complex and real. Then there are the days when life really gets to me. I don't want to deal with stress, I don't wan...
by daisiem
December 18th, 2010, 11:19 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: V.O.I.C.E -short synopsis- YA
Replies: 1
Views: 1000

Re: V.O.I.C.E -short synopsis- YA

Victoria: Soprano, happily single Owen: Bass, crushing on Evelyn Isabella: Alto, has the hots for Carter Carter: Tenor, step brother of Evelyn Evelyn: Soprano, in love with her step brother I like how you use the initials of the names for your title. Evalyn can still remember clearly the day her mo...
by daisiem
December 18th, 2010, 10:37 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#1

Okay, ended up rewriting most of it. Please let me know if this makes everything clearer, or just adds to the confusion. Thanks! Dear Agent, Seventeen-year-old Bram Mathers is an expert at controlling his emotions. He has plenty of experience; he recently lost half his family in a car wreck. But whe...
by daisiem
December 18th, 2010, 1:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

Re: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller

Thanks everyone for the really useful criticism. I appreciate everything that has been said. I will mess around with my query for awhile trying to portray more of Bram's character and conflicts.
Thanks again! You guys are wonderful.
Laurie
by daisiem
December 17th, 2010, 9:54 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

Re: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller

Thanks for the help. I didn't realize how often I mentioned Bram's name until you commented on it. Good heavens, when read aloud it sounds even more distracting. I will work on the simplification. I can't tell you how much of the plot is already pared down, it's starting to not even resemble the act...
by daisiem
December 17th, 2010, 9:13 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: MEMOIRS OF DANIEL: THE FALLEN (Fantasy)
Replies: 6
Views: 1422

Re: MEMOIRS OF DANIEL: THE FALLEN (Fantasy)

I hope you don't mind my two cents. I was intrigued by the story, but there were a couple areas that were confusing. I realize it is complicated to summarize a fantasy story when there are so many new elements introduced. Ruthless = my bff. :) Dear Specific Agent: Nestled secretly among humans, a ra...
by daisiem
December 17th, 2010, 8:47 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below
Replies: 14
Views: 2394

CALL US LEGION YA Paranormal Thriller revision#2 below

I have started querying and have received several rejections and one partial request. I am afraid my query may be a bit confusing. The problem is that the plot is complicated with a few twists. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much. Dear Agent, “Bram Mathers, you are a multi-possessor. You...
by daisiem
December 17th, 2010, 8:38 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: OVERBOARD - Revision #1 Posted
Replies: 12
Views: 2236

Re: OVERBOARD - 1st Person Query

Since I am new at queries, I hope you don't mind my feedback. I just wanted to point out the parts that I liked and parts that seemed a bit confusing. I hope it helps. Dear Agent, Silas Jacobson killed his father. It was a pure accident, but his guilt drove him from the family farm seeking to forget...