Nathan Bransford - The Forums

First of all, your query has improved quite a bit in the last few iterations, so good job. :) The only thing I didn't really want to change (and tell me if I'm way off base here) is why the country's leader would kill Kat. I know your not supposed to be vague in a query letter, but revealing why she...

I agree with Lachrymal, I think... it'd be best for you to try starting over and see where that takes you. Here's a sample-thing I whipped up. A lot of the details are made up, obviously, and it's nowhere near perfect. I'll explain some of the choices I made at the end. Dear [agent], Ashley Calliste...