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by benjaminkeay
October 5th, 2010, 5:12 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10
Replies: 32
Views: 30121

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10

Sorry for the lateness of this post - killer weekend (by which I mean bathing the dog and cleaning the condo). At any rate, I think an opening like this works best if it's done subtly. For example, when the narrator says, "...from this side..." (or whatever the exact phrase is) we have a perfect ope...