Search found 9 matches

by unprintableme
November 9th, 2010, 3:56 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 118659

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Mr. Bransford, If Richard slips up and reveals his telepathic abilities, the inevitable witch-hunt for his kind could tear society apart. The trouble is that Richard doesn't know he's a telepath. He's just an eleven year-old orphan who hears whispers. That couldn't be telepathy, could it? Howev...
by unprintableme
October 1st, 2010, 10:10 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Grammar, Language, and Communication: Ask & Answer
Replies: 30
Views: 3977

Re: Grammar, Language, and Communication: Ask & Answer

When the dog barks,
When the bee stings,
When I feel less literate than some,

I go to Craigslist dot org and look at some posts,

And then I don't feel...

So dumb

(for those who have watched The Sound of Music...)
by unprintableme
October 1st, 2010, 1:38 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Passive Voice Debate
Replies: 40
Views: 10438

Re: Passive Voice Debate

J. T., here it is, enjoy! Reflexes and training took over. Fugalburt tossed the remains of his dinner Shrimp Scampi dinner on the beast's head. Maybe the pungency of the garlic would distract the thing. It worked. The beast began waving its head back and forth as if to rid itself of the smell. Fugal...
by unprintableme
September 29th, 2010, 11:06 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Passive Voice Debate
Replies: 40
Views: 10438

Re: Passive Voice Debate

I'd like to thank everyone for their input for this discussion. It has been very helpful.
by unprintableme
September 27th, 2010, 11:12 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Things I wish I'd been told when I started
Replies: 27
Views: 4954

Re: Things I wish I'd been told when I started

Sorry that this is off-subject but I really feel the need to compliment Polymath on the bowl. It is beautiful and must have been a geometric nightmare to block out. But with the name of Polymath, maybe not. ;)
by unprintableme
September 27th, 2010, 10:53 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Passive Voice Debate
Replies: 40
Views: 10438

Re: Passive Voice Debate

Thank you all for your input. It has been very informative. Now I'd like to present the sad but humorous end of Fugalburt for our dissection. ..... Navels fascinated Fugalburt. He often explored his own, wondering what truths, or riches awaited discovery. Although, thus far he'd only found a porridg...
by unprintableme
September 27th, 2010, 4:51 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Passive Voice Debate
Replies: 40
Views: 10438

Passive Voice Debate

I propose a discussion about passive voice; definition, pros and cons, etc. I have only ever heard the 'weak impact' criticism and am interested in other viewpoints. I did notice that Nathan attached the word 'extended' to passive voice in the blog where he denigrated it, which makes me wonder where...
by unprintableme
September 27th, 2010, 4:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Conundrum
Replies: 9
Views: 1651

Re: Query Conundrum

I thank all of you for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. Based on your responses, I'm leaning toward connecting everyone to the boy, even though he is eleven and the novel is not YA. My thinking is that, no matter what age a reader has reached, and no matter how much personal power a reader h...
by unprintableme
September 26th, 2010, 3:23 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Conundrum
Replies: 9
Views: 1651

Query Conundrum

The subject of Hearing Voices is telepathy. The plot is woven, William Gibson style, from multiple story lines, and told from the perspectives of the 'luckless pedestrian' characters (to borrow a phrase from Steely Dan). My problem is that a one-page query (which I don't want to exceed) does not all...