Search found 6 matches
- September 30th, 2010, 10:07 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Swayed
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2638
Query: Swayed
This is just the basic core, left off the personable chunks. Any and all feedback in much appreciated and will be reciprocated at the very least. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear, A secret society wants seventeen-y...
- September 30th, 2010, 9:51 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query 'Kat's Tale'
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2788
Re: Query 'Kat's Tale'
Hey~ I'm not sure if you've made any revisions to this and stuck it up elsewhere or not, but I took a look and thought that this link might help more than anything I have to say. http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2010/08/how-to-write-query-letter.html http://querytracker.blogspot.com/2010/06/how-to-gr...
- September 30th, 2010, 9:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy- REVISED
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4344
Re: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy
Hi Tricia! Just gonna jump right in. I'm not sure what the initial conflict is after reading the first few lines. Is it because he's interacting with her--which is what an imaginary friend does I thought--or is it because he won't move on. Also, when he pushes her and wipes away a tear, how old is s...
- September 30th, 2010, 9:34 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query: flight - REVISED and READY TO SEND
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3762
Re: query: flight - REVISED
I do agree that "intense changes" is a little too generic. Are we talking failing a history test, being dumped by a boyfriend, death in the family? Also, the exact day count is distracting. If it's something she's keep track of, a quirk of hers, I would say something along the lines of &qu...
- September 30th, 2010, 8:00 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Summertime Query
- Replies: 28
- Views: 8263
Re: Summertime Query
First off, I don't think 10 is YA. Secondly, there isn't much in this query to paint a clear picture of what happens. A girl falls in love with a guy and goes after him. That's about it. It's a taste of a taste, if that makes any sense. How does she pursue Zach? Does Zach know how she feels? Has he ...
- September 30th, 2010, 7:49 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Thorn Tree - YA Paranormal
- Replies: 11
- Views: 4835
Re: The Thorn Tree - YA Paranormal
I have to agree that this reads more like a synopsis than a query. There is not hook to draw me into the story, just a series of events listed chronologically. Granted, they are interesting events on an interesting list, but it doesn't pop. I'm not compelled to continue reading when I reach the end ...