Search found 6 matches

by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 10:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Swayed
Replies: 6
Views: 1534

Query: Swayed

This is just the basic core, left off the personable chunks. Any and all feedback in much appreciated and will be reciprocated at the very least. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear, A secret society wants seventeen-y...
by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 9:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query 'Kat's Tale'
Replies: 7
Views: 1450

Re: Query 'Kat's Tale'

Hey~ I'm not sure if you've made any revisions to this and stuck it up elsewhere or not, but I took a look and thought that this link might help more than anything I have to say.
by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 9:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy- REVISED
Replies: 10
Views: 2559

Re: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy

Hi Tricia! Just gonna jump right in. I'm not sure what the initial conflict is after reading the first few lines. Is it because he's interacting with her--which is what an imaginary friend does I thought--or is it because he won't move on. Also, when he pushes her and wipes away a tear, how old is s...
by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 9:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: query: flight - REVISED and READY TO SEND
Replies: 8
Views: 2225

Re: query: flight - REVISED

I do agree that "intense changes" is a little too generic. Are we talking failing a history test, being dumped by a boyfriend, death in the family? Also, the exact day count is distracting. If it's something she's keep track of, a quirk of hers, I would say something along the lines of "for the last...
by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 8:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 4657

Re: Summertime Query

First off, I don't think 10 is YA. Secondly, there isn't much in this query to paint a clear picture of what happens. A girl falls in love with a guy and goes after him. That's about it. It's a taste of a taste, if that makes any sense. How does she pursue Zach? Does Zach know how she feels? Has he ...
by Tangynt
September 30th, 2010, 7:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Thorn Tree - YA Paranormal
Replies: 11
Views: 2675

Re: The Thorn Tree - YA Paranormal

I have to agree that this reads more like a synopsis than a query. There is not hook to draw me into the story, just a series of events listed chronologically. Granted, they are interesting events on an interesting list, but it doesn't pop. I'm not compelled to continue reading when I reach the end ...