Search found 2 matches

by lizhollar
October 1st, 2010, 11:03 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10
Replies: 32
Views: 27987

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10

I really liked the first line. It drew me in. I got a little confused about the age and life/death status of everyone and had to go back to re-read. It may be intentional to keep it a bit foggy, but it definitely required a re-read for me to understand it. A small thing, but I thought there were too...
by lizhollar
September 3rd, 2010, 8:55 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/3/10
Replies: 21
Views: 22557

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/3/10

I am not a big sports reader either, but I got really interested in the dialogue by the end. The first two lines seemed to cover a little two much information for me, and I had to read them 2 or 3 times to catch on. Although I don't like overuse of dialogue tags, I think they are useful, especially ...