Search found 31 matches
- November 18th, 2010, 9:41 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Question About Query
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1489
Re: Question About Query
I think plot point number one is the winner! Protagonist was left with Aunt by mother for 4 years, mother returns and acts as if nothing happens. Mother has many boyfriends and has had three divorces. Therefor protagonist doesn't want to end up like mother, although protagonist looks just like mothe...
- November 18th, 2010, 1:32 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Running in Flip-Flops - Back for More!!! (Page 2)
- Replies: 16
- Views: 5795
Re: Running in Flip-Flops - Back for More!!! (Page 2)
And here they are! Two query ideas....which one do you think is best? I appreciate any suggestions for more revision! (Older) Version 1: Shannon Wheaton has no running water or electricity, and that’s the easy part. When she arrives in Senegal as a young Peace Corps Volunteer, Shannon is blazing wit...
- November 3rd, 2010, 8:35 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8154
Re: Romance Query: COVET
I LOVE the idea for this novel! It is absolutely the kind of thing I would buy - a classic story retold with a twist. Really fantastic! The query is great, too. I only have a couple of suggestions: Adelais knows she shouldn’t love Lucas, and not because he stuffed frogs down her smock when they were...
- October 25th, 2010, 10:41 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (Newer Draft on page 2)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 6824
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (second attempt)
Hello! I loved this idea when I first read it, and I like your query even better now. This is definitely an eye-catching book and I can't wait to read it in print! The letter is great, I think. I only have a couple nitpicky suggestions: Tessa is young, talented, and blind. She walks alongside the ca...
- October 25th, 2010, 1:55 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY -- THE FERRYMAN -- Revision No. 1
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5423
Re: QUERY -- THE FERRYMAN
Whoa - first of all, I LOVE this idea! It's incredibly creative and I can tell even in this brief query that you have some wonderfully quirky characters. This is something I would absolutely read just because it sounds so fun. I only have a few ideas for your query: Charlie wants what any man wants:...
- October 25th, 2010, 1:34 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: When the Sun rises- Adult fiction
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1736
Re: When the Sun rises- Adult fiction
Hello! I think you have a great idea in the works here. It's a common story for people, I think, and women especially; getting what they think they want yet somehow feeling it wasn't what they truly wanted after all. Anyway, I have a few suggestions for your query: Christine Longman has been toiling...
- October 12th, 2010, 2:20 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Meant To Be---another new version
- Replies: 61
- Views: 17400
Re: Meant To Be---Comm. Fic---new "special request" version
Hello! First of all, I LOVE the premise of this book. The characters sound great and they have a beautiful story to tell, one that many of us can relate to, I think. Also I like how short and to-the-point your query is. It gives all the information we need in a clear way that also hints at the story...
- October 5th, 2010, 8:08 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Speculative Sci/Fan Query - FREE TO FORGIVE
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4821
Re: Speculative Sci/Fan Query - FREE TO FORGIVE
Hello there! Wow - you have some really big ideas in this book. I'm intregued by the idea of a society where ALOs and people live together, but not equally. It's definitely interesting and has a lot of appeal. I do have a few suggestions for your query, though: Yora Garver is devastated when her par...
- October 1st, 2010, 1:05 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Swayed
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2640
Re: Query: Swayed
Hello! I really like this query, and your story sounds fast-paced and exciting. Nice work! I only have a few suggestions of how it may read better: A secret society wants seventeen-year-old Caleb Dunnelly dead. Here he’s been minding his own business for all his life, when a brotherhood called Libra...
- September 28th, 2010, 2:29 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Preacher's Blood Query attempt
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2525
Re: Preacher's Blood Query attempt
Hello! This sounds like an exciting story, but scary! It will definitely appeal to people who like a thrilling read. I only have a few suggestions for your query, though it does a good job so far telling just enough of the story to hook the reader. Gavin Preacher can't make peace with his sister's d...
- September 28th, 2010, 1:52 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: FADING GREY - A Paranormal Romance Query
- Replies: 11
- Views: 4062
Re: FADING GREY - A Paranormal Romance Query
Hello there! I really like the premise of your story - it's exciting, with built-in conflict, but has a relatable main character. You do a good job capturing these elements in your query letter, and it's really short and sweet, which is wonderful. I just have a couple suggestions for you: Anna’s vam...
- September 21st, 2010, 1:12 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Running in Flip-Flops - Back for More!!! (Page 2)
- Replies: 16
- Views: 5795
Re: Running in Flip-Flops - Third Draft on page 2
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments. All your advice is extremely helpful! I'm going to rework this one rather later, I think; want to tweak some things in my manuscript first. But I truly appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment. It helps so much to see through someone e...
- September 16th, 2010, 11:13 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter
- Replies: 30
- Views: 9832
Re: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter
Hello! This looks like a spine-tingling story. How much fun! I have a few suggestions for your query below: London, 1882. Kidnapped as a child, Emil Aleric and his mother survived. The rest of the family didn't. These sentances are shocking, but I don't think they read so well together...Maybe make ...
- September 16th, 2010, 10:54 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: I'm A Nobody, newest on page four
- Replies: 34
- Views: 12060
Re: I'm A Nobody, Revised shorter version after rejections
Hello! This sounds like a great book, with a fun, fast-paced story. I hope you get some interest soon!! Dominic Taylor can open locked doors with a touch, (if you're gonna use "and," I'd like to see a third awesome skill listed) and pass by cameras without being seen. You might mention her...
- September 16th, 2010, 10:43 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Running in Flip-Flops - Back for More!!! (Page 2)
- Replies: 16
- Views: 5795
Re: Running in Flip-Flops - Third Draft
Hello again! Thank you, thank you everyone for your wonderful comments! It's so hard to write a query letter that gives just enough detail, but not too much. I hope this third version is a little better... **** Shannon Wheaton arrives in Senegal as a young Peace Corps volunteer, blazing with determi...