Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Title - Timesurfers
Genre - YA Urban Fantasy

TAKE TWO

Thanks to the very generous people who provided feedback . Here is a second draft of this query. I am still worried about Cate's love interest being tacked on and that I maybe rambling. - Any and all comments will be very much appreciated. Tess

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Hey - you certainly have the knack for condensing information and creating a punchy query. I've put some comments etc below - all just IMO- you know your story and characters best. Good luck with it.

HI I've added a few edits ( am new to the system) The story sound great - I'm not too sure about the horse fram dream getting two mentions. If it is that important maybe tell us why? - Just a thought. The last sentence is stellar - I would keep that for sure. It looks like you're whipping this into ...

Wow! A big high five to everyone who has taken the time to comment and dissect my lame query. Fresh insight is invaluable. I will digest everyone's comments and take another shot. Again - Thanks - Really appreciated. Tessxx