Search found 7 matches

by ReenaJacobs
November 13th, 2010, 5:37 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 11/12/10
Replies: 16
Views: 82654

Re: Page Critique Friday 11/12/10

Thanks for sharing your opening, Jaime. It takes a brave soul to do so. :) One thing I can say is your editing is tight in terms of grammar and spelling. Good job. :) It makes the passage easy to understand. Some novels start slow and work. But with only 250 words to grab the readers' attention, we ...
by ReenaJacobs
October 30th, 2010, 11:54 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/29/10
Replies: 14
Views: 13987

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/29/10

I'm with J.T. on a lot of issues. I liked the title. It's short and catchy. If I picked up a novel with that time (cover has to be eye catching also though), I'd think "Red Utopia? Hmm....I wonder" and pick it up and at least read the back blurb. I'm not a crime fan though, so you'd lose me there. S...
by ReenaJacobs
October 29th, 2010, 1:34 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/29/10
Replies: 14
Views: 13987

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/29/10

Congrats, SurlyJason. :) And thanks for offering your piece up for critique. I thought this work was well written in terms of grammar and punctuation, very easy to follow. You've also done a good job adding plot to the first few words. I know girls are missing, so it gives me a sense of what the sto...
by ReenaJacobs
September 24th, 2010, 3:21 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query Critique Friday 9/24/10
Replies: 16
Views: 17322

Re: Query Critique Friday 9/24/10

I like the premises for your query. I think your story has a lot of potential. One suggestion I do have is consider reordering sentences and working with the sentence structure in your paragraphs. The way things are worded really takes the oomph out of such an exciting story. For Hagai's twenty-firs...
by ReenaJacobs
September 10th, 2010, 1:46 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10
Replies: 33
Views: 27398

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10

artrosch Thanks for sharing your excerpt. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there. :) My thoughts on the piece: I found the beginning to be very direct, but not very engaging. It had the feel of a joke: Three men walked into a bar... This works for getting a quick laugh but doesn't seem lik...
by ReenaJacobs
September 8th, 2010, 2:39 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 261968

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: College Rock Genre: Young Adult Word count: 250 Music blared throughout the house at full blast--Pretty People by Dexter Freebish. Yep, that pretty much summed it up. They surrounded me. Only thing, I didn't want to be like them. Sometimes I was just so tired of the games the so-called "prett...
by ReenaJacobs
August 27th, 2010, 1:28 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10
Replies: 27
Views: 19346

Re: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10

Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself on the chopping block. I have to admit, I'm not very familiar with the omniscient POV, so I'm not sure if what you have is standard or not. Therefore, I'm not going to comment on it. I will say, I'm not sure what's going on here. It seems...