Search found 17 matches

by Nicole Zoltack
March 19th, 2011, 12:25 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: Bransford Blog Bracket Challenge!!!
Replies: 110
Views: 37198

Re: Bransford Blog Bracket Challenge!!!

Georgetown losing hurt. Ouch. Had them all the way to the Elite Eight.

Only had 5 wrong, (as long as Syracuse wins) but losing an Elite Eight already hurts.
by Nicole Zoltack
August 19th, 2010, 12:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1
Replies: 19
Views: 3118

Re: Query: Heaven

Dear Agent, I am seeking representation for my science fiction novel of approximately 100,000 words, titled Heaven. I thought that you might be a good agent for this project based on (whatever). Early in the 22nd century, Earth has been destroyed passive by the Alien Hordes, and humankind stands on...
by Nicole Zoltack
August 19th, 2010, 12:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Hidden in Shadows - Take 2
Replies: 4
Views: 963

Query - Hidden in Shadows - Take 2

I would appreciate any comments on this query, thanks! Assassin Lorna McCloud has an advantage over her victims – the power to create and hide in artificial shadows; however, the one target she longs for most remains elusive – her father's murderer. With no leads, Lorna continues to accept assignmen...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 23rd, 2010, 1:07 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

Thank you so much for your help, everyone! I think I'm getting close: "Why am I a hired assassin? Two reasons. One, because it pays well. Extremely well. And two, because I can." In her heart, Lorna knows the real reason stems back to her father’s murder. While trying to track down his killer, Lorna...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 19th, 2010, 12:24 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

"Why am I a hired assassin? Two reasons. One, because it pays well. Extremely well. And two, because I can." A psychiatrist would disagree, saying Lorna's occupation stems back to her father, and his murder. Which is also true, but after so many years, she doubts she'll ever have her revenge. While ...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 18th, 2010, 4:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

Why am I a hired assassin? Two reasons. One, because it pays well. Extremely well. And two, because I can. But a psychiatrist would disagree, saying Lorna's occupation stems back to her father, and his murder. Which is also true, but after so many years, she doubts she'll ever have her revenge. Whil...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 18th, 2010, 3:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

Yet another try, this time from Lorna's POV. Since I can't seem to get the pitch just right, I thought this might help. Why am I a hired assassin? Two reasons. One, because it pays well. Extremely well. And two, because I can. But a psychiatrist would disagree, saying that my occupation stems back t...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 15th, 2010, 3:32 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 120179

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Nathan Bransford: Assassin Lorna McCloud has an advantage over her victims – the power to create and hide in artificial shadows; however, the one target she longs for most remains elusive – her father's murderer. With no leads, Lorna continues to accept assignments including a small island king...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 13th, 2010, 5:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

I think I was trying to shove too much information into the pitch. It always seems that if you add in too many details, the more questions are raised. So I tried to scale back and came up with this: Lorna McCloud pretends she's an assassin for the money and because she's good at it. The real reason ...
by Nicole Zoltack
June 12th, 2010, 5:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3433

Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

latest version: Dear Agent: "Why am I a hired assassin? Two reasons. One, because it pays well. Extremely well. And two, because I can." In her heart, Lorna knows the real reason stems back to her father’s murder. While trying to track down his killer, Lorna is captured by the Paranormal Intelligenc...
by Nicole Zoltack
February 17th, 2010, 2:09 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: The Land of Imagining
Replies: 8
Views: 1664

Re: QUERY: The Land of Imagining

Hi Nicole: To tell the truth, your first query letter was difficult to read and follow. The revision was a bit better, but still there seems to be too much shoved in the query. Just the way I read it. Hope this helps. Aargh, conflicting advice. You think I have too much in the second version, but h...
by Nicole Zoltack
February 12th, 2010, 5:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: The Land of Imagining
Replies: 8
Views: 1664

Re: QUERY: The Land of Imagining

Dear [insert agent's name]: I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word fantasy young adult novel, THE LAND OF IMAGINING. I would move this to right before "Thank you..." Alexia thinks she’s just an ordinary girl with a lofty goal – to become a best-selling novelist. Comma But a magical pen and ...
by Nicole Zoltack
February 12th, 2010, 3:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: The Land of Imagining
Replies: 8
Views: 1664

Re: QUERY: The Land of Imagining

Attempt #2: Alexia thinks she’s just an ordinary girl with a lofty goal – to become a best-selling novelist. With the use of a magical pen, Alexia writes about a mystical Land of Imagining inhabited by a race called the All-Knowers. A great evil threatens the land - the Head Demon and Its minions se...
by Nicole Zoltack
February 11th, 2010, 7:28 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Replies: 11
Views: 2387

Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction

Dear Ms. Agent: Smart-mouthed gumshoe, Delete comma Guy Morgan doesn't work much; comma not semicolon but he does drink half his weight in whisky whiskey each day, while exposing the occasional insurance fraud or matrimonial infidelity. When Guy’s old high school nemesis, rock star, Marc Sloane, del...
by Nicole Zoltack
February 11th, 2010, 7:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: What love may do
Replies: 9
Views: 1741

Re: QUERY: What love may do

Upon first reading your query, I assumed it was a YA fantasy with some romance thrown in. Your query does not yet reflect a horror story. It's important that the query reflects the writing behind it. I know others have said this, but I think it bears repeating, a 13 year old and a centuries-old vamp...