Search found 8 matches

by jmbrinton
February 13th, 2011, 1:59 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Querying a book you've already self-published
Replies: 1
Views: 638

Querying a book you've already self-published

Dear Nathan, I've been participating in a discussion on another writing forum advising what to do if you want to query agents on a book that you have already self-published. I thought it was necessary to advise the agent of this fact upfront in the query, but the forum moderator says just the opposi...
by jmbrinton
February 8th, 2011, 3:27 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Non-fiction Query: English Lessons
Replies: 8
Views: 1573

Re: Non-fiction Query: English Lessons

I had the same reaction as Quill when you started mentioning other countries. I am sure it works in the book but it does confuse in the Query. To help you tighten this up, you might want to look at the book flap/description of some of Bill Bryson's stuff. They are pretty entertaining books and will ...
by jmbrinton
January 29th, 2011, 7:10 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: IRREFUTABLE
Replies: 19
Views: 3546

Re: Query: IRREFUTABLE

The query has good tension but go over every word carefully and check your grammar. The opening sentence troubled me. You use the word 'hard' twice and the italics were jarring. Plus, I wouldn't close with 'is anything but'--it's like a double negative, too hard to wrap your brain around its meaning...
by jmbrinton
January 21st, 2011, 5:06 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: WIL DRAKE AND THE WITCHES OF THE WATER
Replies: 8
Views: 1413

Re: Query: WIL DRAKE AND THE WITCHES OF THE WATER

From Nathan: Thursday, May 21, 2009 Re: Re-querying Redux This is something I have touched on in a previous post, but since it is among the most-asked topics of all, I thought I would revisit it and make it a bit more comprehensive. Here it is. Re: re-querying reimagined, revisited, renovated. Re. W...
by jmbrinton
January 17th, 2011, 2:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Jade's Hurricane back from rejection
Replies: 12
Views: 2187

Re: Query: Jade's Hurricane back from rejection

First let me say I do not read a tremendous amount of fantasy so you should bear that in mind when reading this. I think the query is fairly clear and meets all the basic requirements. A hook, a synopsis, etc. The problem for me is that the story doesn't present a dilemna for the MC that interests m...
by jmbrinton
September 25th, 2010, 5:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: I'm A Nobody, newest on page four
Replies: 34
Views: 5651

Re: I'm A Nobody, Revised shorter version after rejections

I agree that if HEROS is an acronym, which I'm assuming it is since you capped it all, it should be H.E.R.O.S. But the phrase that follows describes it as the human organization against magic. That would be HOAM. What does HEROS stand for? This sort of little detail makes me crazy! It also bugs me w...
by jmbrinton
September 23rd, 2010, 12:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: eror
Replies: 38
Views: 6430

Re: Bengali Girls Don't -- new version on page 3

Great story (as I said before) and I think cutting the opening is probably wise, although no doubt was painful. I think the previous query was better, but could use a few ideas from the most recent version. Here's my suggestion for a mash-up. Born in a remote village at the time of her country's lib...
by jmbrinton
August 24th, 2010, 10:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Number Four! Query for "Devin Briar"
Replies: 5
Views: 1110

Re: Number Four! Query for "Devin Briar"

Dear Agent, No move in Devin Briar’s life is his choosing [ too passive , from the simple government job he starts out with, {no comma plus, give Brian some personality--tell us what his job is] to his climb to power {what power? what position?} by sheer innuendo and circumstance {too vague an expre...