Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Your description was vivid, I could picture everything clearly. You are using omniscient point of view, I think, and that keeps the reader a bit distanced. I think this would feel more immediate if you used limited third person - get closer to one of the characters. By the end of the first page we s...

Hi, I like the writing style and tone it sets. Something is wrong for your characters, but I'm not sure what. I got a sense of danger, but then he's talking about plumbing. That's unexpected, and kind of interrupts the mood. Usually, when you start on the outside (omniscient POV) describing a scene,...

Title: Immovable Objects Genre: Cozy Mystery Words: 249 Janet always made the same wish. For the last ten years, anyway. When she lost an eyelash, saw a shooting star, or, like today, when she blew out the candles on her birthday cake. It wasn’t a real birthday cake, just a slice from the glass disp...