Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Thanks to everyone who commented. I really appreciated getting a fresh perspective on this. You've all given me alot to work with and I'm now in the process of making revisions. thanks again, :)

Possessed - Chapter One If this isn't a dream, then I really am must be mad. Gabriel looked over his shoulder. The dark silhouette of the ghostlike horseman was closer than before. Gabriel He kicked his mare's heaving sides. It had become nearly too dark to be racing through the woods at such a pace...

Michael, This is my first time in the query forum and I'm actually not very good at writing them myself so I'm not sure I can help with constructive red-line comments. But I wanted to take a moment and say that I thought your book sounded totally interesting! Especially knowing that it is a true sto...

Hi writeonsistah... I liked your excerpt. It totally drew me in. In fact, I wanted to read more and was disappointed that it ended. Like everyone else, I don't really have any changes to suggest. In fact, I had no problem with the italics. I could tell it was her thoughts and actually thought it hel...

I read the Twilight series and absolutely loved them. I'd finish one in a day, couldn't put it down. Great story telling. But, after reading the comments here, I have to agree with ChookyChook who had the second post in all these comments. She gives a very interesting perspective that had not occurr...

Emily J. Thanks so much for your comments. I was LOL reading them...your comments have a great voice! (notice my ellipses again? LOL) No, seriously, I had a great time reading your reviews. Great input. They say the first step to recovery is admiting your faults. ;-) And, I'm pleased that you liked ...

I liked the second one better. It seemed to move faster and I felt more energy. The first one had too many descriptive sentences for me. I got bored wading my way through the adjectives. The second one kept me moving.

hope that helps...

I LOVE it!! I was initially attracted to the title. And then as I read it, I literally sat on the edge of my seat. I hate to admit this, but I have been to alot of funerals in my life, and I can totally relate to this scene. People act weird at funerals, with loved ones dying and all. This makes me ...

Thanks Notw. It's interesting that you suggested that I start w/the action outside of Granny's house. When I first developed this story in my mind...that's how it started...but when I went to write it...well, you can see what happened. Thanks so much for your thoughts! I really appreciate hearing th...

Thanks for your comments, wordranger. They were very helpful. I do like to write with long complicated sentences followed by short ones. I guess it's because it's the way I like to read. It's not that I didn't edit it, it was intentional. But it may not be appropriate for the age group. So, that's g...

I like what you wrote. My only suggestion would be to rough up the language used by the hag. Make it less clear, less precise and more mysterious. I felt that both her language and her message were too concise and well spoken for the character. It threw me off as I read it. I'd make it more fun and ...

I just posted, on the Excerpts Feedback Forum, my first Chapter of my YA, WIP that was the subject of my question. It's titled Samantha Stokes and the Fantastical Journey. I'd love any and all comments! Thanks!

Hi.... This is my first chapter of a light-hearted, young adult adventure/fantasy. Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated! CHAPTER ONE I’ve come to the conclusion that there are certain days when it’s best not to get out of bed in the morning. Some days it’s better if you pull the covers ...

Thanks J.T...you're right, well done in LEVIATHAN.

Just as an update, I have decided not to use real profanity in my YA novel...it just didn't feel right. And, now since I've taken it out, it seems much lighter and more apropo for the age group.

Thanks for your comments. Greatly appreciated.

New Beginnings I hate to admit this, but I love beginnings. No, I mean I really love beginnings. That first sentence, first paragraph, first page and maybe even that first chapter; in my mind it’s like starting an exciting new journey. There’s something exhilarating about capturing the feeling, the ...