Search found 33 matches
- April 18th, 2011, 3:25 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4514
Re: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
Here is the most recent revision. I have left the first paragraph the same, as I was advised by two published authors to do so. I am currently shopping my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY and I read that you are drawn edgy YA novel with crossover potential. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good...
- April 17th, 2011, 5:12 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4514
Re: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
I am currently shopping my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY. I read that you are drawn to novels that deal with personal journey and transformation. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good girl. 19-year Robert Marchioni is a good boy. But now that she’s pregnant, no one in their conservative town...
- April 16th, 2011, 8:59 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: BIG MOUTH BLUES, Contemporary YA query
- Replies: 7
- Views: 4108
Re: BIG MOUTH BLUES, Contemporary YA query
Maybe something like this. Fourteen year old Kacey Donovan has a secret. Her friends are worried about dates and good grades. Kacey is worried about hiding the bruises. I would shorten the hook to something like this. Fourteen-year-old Kacey Donovan's boozing dad treats her like a punching bag, and...
- April 16th, 2011, 8:19 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1970
Re: Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl
I chose to submit my work to you because of your previous interest in memoirs, and because of your affiliation with the respected …….Agency. ( I am querying you because... I am approaching you because...) Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl, is a 91,000 word Memoir and is my first book. A second book ne...
- April 16th, 2011, 8:03 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: OVERBOARD - New 1st Person Query (4th Revision at Post 11)
- Replies: 11
- Views: 4288
Re: OVERBOARD - New 1st Person Query (2nd Revision at Post 5)
When I see your title I can't help but think of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn in their comedy Overboard. I also did not get a sense of a plot from your query. You show a lot of your character's voice, but I don't know if it is wise to stray so far from the typical query path. I also believe you need ...
- April 16th, 2011, 7:52 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4514
THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
I am approaching you to represent my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY because I read that you are drawn to novels that deal with personal journey and transformation. My protagonist chooses a path that forever changes her life. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good girl. 19-year Robert Marchioni...
- April 14th, 2011, 7:15 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 452639
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: THE WIND CRIES MARY Genre: YA/Commercial Word count 250 Spiraling red and blue lights were blinded me—confusing me. If things weren’t bad enough, a second cop car pulled up. My heart to pounded so hard I thought I would bust a rib. I never realized how difficult it was to grow up. Sure, I had...
Re: CROSSING THRESHOLD Query New version
Sure is. Only it is orange. I am also a collector of Mid Century Modern furniture and accessories. Thanks for the input.
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Re: Crossing Thresholds
Thank you for the criticism. Especially, the spelling errors for which I am known.(I corrected them immediately.) I am currently revising my letter.
Re: Crossing Thresholds
Mary becomes pregnant after this incident.
- December 8th, 2010, 5:05 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Mainstream Novel Query - THE DIM MAN
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3387
Re: Mainstream Novel Query - THE DIM MAN
I was confused by this and stopped reading: Tim has no desire to participate in the pop culture phenomenon obsessed with his unique soul score. At first, the successful funeral director ignores the phone calls and blog posts to concentrate on his book – a collection of bizarre obituaries. But when t...
- December 8th, 2010, 5:02 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Harbinger
- Replies: 22
- Views: 6719
Re: Query: Harbinger
I have heard, though I am no expert, if your bio doesn't include published work it is best not to mention it. (don't mention self-published either) If your current work lands an agent and a publisher, then it is appropriate to mention anything self-published in the future.
Re: Crossing Thresholds
Thank you for your criticism. Some of the language "make-it" for instance, is used intentionally because it was slang during the time period of the story. This is my first shot at a query, and if you felt lost, so might others. I will take your edits under consideration.