Search found 33 matches

by SSB
April 18th, 2011, 3:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
Replies: 10
Views: 2159

Re: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical

Here is the most recent revision. I have left the first paragraph the same, as I was advised by two published authors to do so. I am currently shopping my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY and I read that you are drawn edgy YA novel with crossover potential. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good...
by SSB
April 17th, 2011, 5:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
Replies: 10
Views: 2159

Re: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical

I am currently shopping my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY. I read that you are drawn to novels that deal with personal journey and transformation. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good girl. 19-year Robert Marchioni is a good boy. But now that she’s pregnant, no one in their conservative town...
by SSB
April 16th, 2011, 8:59 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: BIG MOUTH BLUES, Contemporary YA query
Replies: 7
Views: 1833

Re: BIG MOUTH BLUES, Contemporary YA query

Maybe something like this. Fourteen year old Kacey Donovan has a secret. Her friends are worried about dates and good grades. Kacey is worried about hiding the bruises. I would shorten the hook to something like this. Fourteen-year-old Kacey Donovan's boozing dad treats her like a punching bag, and...
by SSB
April 16th, 2011, 8:19 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl
Replies: 4
Views: 894

Re: Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl

I chose to submit my work to you because of your previous interest in memoirs, and because of your affiliation with the respected …….Agency. ( I am querying you because... I am approaching you because...) Life Journeys of a Cockney Girl, is a 91,000 word Memoir and is my first book. A second book ne...
by SSB
April 16th, 2011, 8:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: OVERBOARD - New 1st Person Query (4th Revision at Post 11)
Replies: 11
Views: 1849

Re: OVERBOARD - New 1st Person Query (2nd Revision at Post 5)

When I see your title I can't help but think of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn in their comedy Overboard. I also did not get a sense of a plot from your query. You show a lot of your character's voice, but I don't know if it is wise to stray so far from the typical query path. I also believe you need ...
by SSB
April 16th, 2011, 7:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical
Replies: 10
Views: 2159

THE WIND CRIES MARY YA Modern historical

I am approaching you to represent my YA road-trip/ drama THE WIND CRIES MARY because I read that you are drawn to novels that deal with personal journey and transformation. My protagonist chooses a path that forever changes her life. 16-year old Mary O’Conner is a good girl. 19-year Robert Marchioni...
by SSB
April 14th, 2011, 7:15 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 281407

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: THE WIND CRIES MARY Genre: YA/Commercial Word count 250 Spiraling red and blue lights were blinded me—confusing me. If things weren’t bad enough, a second cop car pulled up. My heart to pounded so hard I thought I would bust a rib. I never realized how difficult it was to grow up. Sure, I had...
by SSB
December 20th, 2010, 6:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: deleted
Replies: 5
Views: 888

Re: CROSSING THRESHOLD Query New version

Sure is. Only it is orange. I am also a collector of Mid Century Modern furniture and accessories. Thanks for the input.
by SSB
December 17th, 2010, 11:41 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: deleted
Replies: 5
Views: 888

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by SSB
December 9th, 2010, 3:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Deleted
Replies: 11
Views: 1521

Re:

2
by SSB
December 9th, 2010, 2:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Deleted
Replies: 11
Views: 1521

Re: Crossing Thresholds

Thank you for the criticism. Especially, the spelling errors for which I am known.(I corrected them immediately.) I am currently revising my letter.
by SSB
December 8th, 2010, 5:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Deleted
Replies: 11
Views: 1521

Re: Crossing Thresholds

Mary becomes pregnant after this incident.
by SSB
December 8th, 2010, 5:05 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mainstream Novel Query - THE DIM MAN
Replies: 8
Views: 1380

Re: Mainstream Novel Query - THE DIM MAN

I was confused by this and stopped reading: Tim has no desire to participate in the pop culture phenomenon obsessed with his unique soul score. At first, the successful funeral director ignores the phone calls and blog posts to concentrate on his book – a collection of bizarre obituaries. But when t...
by SSB
December 8th, 2010, 5:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Harbinger
Replies: 22
Views: 2765

Re: Query: Harbinger

I have heard, though I am no expert, if your bio doesn't include published work it is best not to mention it. (don't mention self-published either) If your current work lands an agent and a publisher, then it is appropriate to mention anything self-published in the future.
by SSB
December 8th, 2010, 4:06 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Deleted
Replies: 11
Views: 1521

Re: Crossing Thresholds

Thank you for your criticism. Some of the language "make-it" for instance, is used intentionally because it was slang during the time period of the story. This is my first shot at a query, and if you felt lost, so might others. I will take your edits under consideration.