Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hahaha, Bryan. Sorry.

Thank you all so much for your help on this. Here is a revised query. I hope it makes Bryan a little more likable and erases some of the confusion. There is still the jump from knowing Bryan has HIV to finding out they have a baby together, but I didn't think it would be wise to weigh down the query...

The judge will dismiss Ryan's charges on one condition: that he spend a week at a Kumbaya lovefest summer camp in the hopes that it will teach him restraint. The real surprise is that Ryan likes it there, especially after he meets Eleanor. But a midnight abduction staged by his Junior Counselor hum...

Yeah, I understand why he wouldn't want to tell her, but to marry her and STILL not tell her?

Thanks for your input. Just to clarify, Bryan tells Ellie about his disease shortly after they get engaged.

In your explanation (not your query) you state : Bryan does love Ellie, which is why he's afraid to tell her he has HIV early on in their relationship. He doesn't want her to get scared and leave him.----That's good. In an ideal world Brian would be open and tell Ellie his status, but it's not diff...

Okay, wait a minute. He loves her so deeply yet he didn't bother to tell her that he's HIV positive? And he might have given it to her meaning he didn't take necessary precautions in addition to not telling her? This seems to fly in the face of his true love for her. Why didn't anyone else tell her...

Thank you both for your suggestions! I really appreciate it.

I am new to this forum (and new to writing queries!). I would appreciate any feedback on my query and synopsis. Here goes: Dear , I am an unpublished author seeking representation for my first book, Normal , a 63,000-word women’s fiction novel. Thank you for taking the time to read my query, and I h...

Dear Nathan, I am attempting to construct a query letter (to whom I won't say, but his name starts with B and rhymes with Cransford), and I have a question that I did not see addressed in the FAQ. Is it acceptable to inject humor and/or personality in an agent query, or does it have to be strictly p...