Search found 6 matches

by merrymuhsman
July 8th, 2012, 9:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Pawn
Replies: 7
Views: 1627

Re: Query: The Pawn

Thanks for the advice. I will definitely check out Query Shark. I haven't heard of it before coming to this forum. Thanks!

Merry
by merrymuhsman
July 3rd, 2012, 9:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Pawn
Replies: 7
Views: 1627

Re: Query: The Pawn

Thanks everyone. Really great suggestions. You all bring up really good questions. It's always difficult, as I'm sure you know, to revise the query when you're so close to the story. Why does it seem easier to write a book (which is really not that easy, let's be honest) than to write a query? I've ...
by merrymuhsman
July 2nd, 2012, 5:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Death's Catalyst
Replies: 15
Views: 4096

Re: Query: Death's Catalyst

Hi Brian, I saw your new version, and that was exactly what I was talking about. For me, your query got more specific, without giving too much away. As for whether or not it's too long, I'll let you be the judge. I think (from what I've read of others), you want it to have a certain rhythm and be sm...
by merrymuhsman
July 1st, 2012, 8:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Death's Catalyst
Replies: 15
Views: 4096

Re: Query: Death's Catalyst

I agree with what another poster said. It sounds like you have an interesting plot, but it's still not coming through. I think what you have to ask yourself is what makes this special? What makes your story unique from the other crime stories out there? Knowing he's a cop and he's going outside the ...
by merrymuhsman
July 1st, 2012, 3:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Pawn
Replies: 7
Views: 1627

Query: The Pawn

I know I'm a little late joining the query party, but I just now read Nathan's blog. From what I've seen, this group provides some very good feedback. I'm looking forward to your assistance with my query. Thanks! I am seeking representation for my young adult fantasy novel called “The Pawn”. My nove...
by merrymuhsman
August 2nd, 2010, 10:17 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 282982

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: The Pawn Genre: fantasy (240 words) I am a fool. He knew his human presence might awaken the seeress. He knew the seeress might kidnap him and take him to Blakulla to be sacrificed. He knew he couldn’t return without the amber and disappoint his father. Clouded white light sliced through the ...